Bad Dream…

A bad dream...

I count the weeks, days, the hours, the seconds since you left. 

I wait for signs that you are near.
For whispers in my ear,
For pictures on my screen. 
A light to flicker, 
The alarm to scream.

I kiss your urn,
I smile at your face.
I remember your hug. 
All I do is … pace. 

I wait to wake up from this nightmare 
It is not real.. how can it be? 

One day I will blink .. you will shake 
"Mom wake up!.. It's OK!
It was just a bad dream...
I am here". 

About the Author
Alex Rodriguez is a wife and mother of 3 boys and life long resident of Mill Valley, CA. She lost her 2nd born son Steven (19) to a very rare brain cancer on 10/17/13. One of 30 documented of adult AT/RT. One of 5 documented cases side effects of chemotherapy called neutropenic gastritis. He was diagnosed May 15, 2013. After suffering uncontrolled headaches for a period of a few weeks and being misdiagnosed as - Wisdom Teeth, Whip lash, dehydration, Poor Diet, and being told by a doctor after doing a neurology exam (sans CT/MRI) "Good news is you don't have a brain tumor".. It was found that he indeed did have a 7cm brain tumor located on his right frontal lobe. After Emergency Craniotomy partial resection , and 121 Days of Inpatient Care of aggressive Chemotherapy ( exploding his tumor) and radiation- his hard fought battle was lost. But not without displaying courage and positiveness and a thirst for life. He was Given 2 options to return home if he had enough.. he continued to fight and would never give up .. as in his words - Even though it "sucked" …he was happy to just be alive. This is my journey as a grieving mother. Steven is survived by Alex, his father, Rafael and 2 brothers Michael (22) and Matthew (13)
Grief In Action