The History of Mothers Day It is not just a Hallmark made up holiday

There is no missing that Mother’s Day is approaching the stores are filled with gift ideas, commercials are promoting flower sales, even the restaurants advertise special Mother’s Day brunch. It is an American holiday widely celebrated. Sadly, for some Mother’s Day is being anticipated with dread. For mothers who have lost a child the day is always missing someone. For those who have lost a mother it is similarly empty. It is easy to begin to resent a day that seems to be set apart from others for no other reason but to fill the coffers of stores and restaurants.

 

Mother’s Day has a much more meaningful history than that of a commercial holiday. It began after the Civil War by women who had lost their sons in battle. It was originally a protest of extensive loss of life during the war. Julia Ward Howe the author of “ The Battle Hymn of the Republic”, wrote the original Mother’s Day proclamation.

 

 

Arise, then, women of this day! Arise all women who have hearts,

whether our baptism be that of water or of fears!

 

Say firmly: "We will not have great questions decided by irrelevant

agencies. Our husbands shall not come to us, reeking with carnage, for

caresses and applause. Our sons shall not be taken from us to unlearn

all that we have been able to teach them of charity, mercy and patience.

 

We women of one country will be too tender of those of another country

to allow our sons to be trained to injure theirs. From the bosom of

the devastated earth a voice goes up with our own. It says "Disarm,

Disarm! The sword of murder is not the balance of justice."

 

Blood does not wipe our dishonor nor violence indicate possession. As

men have often forsaken the plow and the anvil at the summons of war,

let women now leave all that may be left of home for a great and

earnest day of counsel. Let them meet first, as women, to bewail and commemorate the dead.

 

Let them then solemnly take counsel with each other as to the means

whereby the great human family can live in peace, each bearing after

their own time the sacred impress, not of Caesar, but of God.

 

In the name of womanhood and of humanity, I earnestly ask that a

general congress of women without limit of nationality may be

appointed and held at some place deemed most convenient and at the

earliest period consistent with its objects, to promote the alliance

of the different nationalities, the amicable settlement of

international questions, the great and general interests of peace.

 

Julia Ward Howe Boston 1870

 

With her proclamation, published in Boston in 1870, she called for an international Mother's Day celebrating peace and motherhood. The day has changed dates and had different supporters along the way and in 1914 President Woodrow Wilson signed it into national holiday, the second Sunday in May became Mother's Day. There has been a lot of controversy over the commercialism of the holiday with much meaning being given to the giving of gifts. Florists, card stores and restaurants have flourished. But what about those who have lost children or lost their mothers? Hallmark does not make a card to remember a mother who has died or to bring comfort to a mother whose child has died, but that should not stop us from celebrating the day with those who are missing someone.

                  Mother’s Day is more than flowers, gifts and brunch. It celebrates the strength, love and patience that mothers give freely to their children. We miss the moms who are not here and we miss the children who are not with us, but celebrating motherhood in whatever way feels right is celebrating one of the things that is special and sacred. It doesn’t have to be done with fanfare or expense; it can be done quietly even privately. When our mothers have died we still very much have them in our hearts and we celebrate who they are to us. When our children have died we celebrate our giving them life even if it was just for a moment and we celebrate the love that continues. Celebrate what Mother’s Day was meant to be a celebration of love and peace. We all have that no matter who is physically present. 

About the Author

Tanya Lord was a special education teacher when Noah died. After his death she read The Institute of Medicine’s report To Err Is Human and realized that the errors responsible for her son’s death were not unique. This created a desire and determination to better understand and work towards improving health care. Currently she has completed a master’s degree in public health and a PhD in clinical and population health research and is completing a post-doctoral fellowship. Lord shares her personal and professional experiences in presentations and workshops for medical staff and students focusing on the importance of effective communication with patients before and after an error. She also is a co-founder of The Grief Toolbox (www.thegrieftoolbox.com), which offers tools to help those along the grief journey. Lord may be contacted at [email protected]

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