The loss of a brother...

In death nobody wins only pain and sadness is left in the living. only regret and remorse for the things left undone or never touched upon.  I am broken so full of sadness that not even on a good day full of laughter am I complete. I grieve the death of my brother and I also grieve the death of my sons mother that is no longer complete that even though I try to be100%, I am not and I can see that he sees it but I'm trying, trying for him, trying for everyone around me but I'm no where near 100% but I keep trying because everyday is a new day and I know that at the end of my life I will once again walk side by side with my brother and he will tell me I was an awesome mom to his nephew.  At that moment I will know that my effort of waking up each morning and trying to be100% for my son was worth every try.