Taking Our Grieving Hearts Seriously

From the Grieving Heart… 

I’m hurting. Something traumatic has occurred. Someone I love is gone, and they’re not coming back. 

I don’t know how to do this. It’s like I’ve been hit by a bus, and I’m lying flat in the middle of the road, watching the sky go by.

The world speeds on, oblivious to my loss. I watch but can’t seem to enter in. It’s as if someone pushed the pause button on my life. My world has suddenly changed, forever. 

I’m stunned. I’m hurting. My heart is crushed. Grief can be heavy.

And yet, I can’t fully accept it somehow. This can’t be real.  

I know this is confusing for you. It’s confusing for me also. You’re probably wondering what to say or what to do. 

You can come sit beside me, if you want. You don’t have to say much. In fact, you don’t have to say anything at all. Your presence is worth all the words in the world right now.

I probably won’t say much either. Don’t expect much out of me. I won’t be myself for a while. In fact, I may never be the same again. This is something we’ll both have to grapple with, but now isn’t the time for that.

Sometimes all I can do is lie here and breathe. I won’t be here forever, but it’s where I am today.

This is hard. It hurts.

Please be patient with me. I’m grieving.

Grief hurts 

Losing a loved one is painful and traumatic. We can lose them in an instant, or we can lose them over time. Some losses can wound the soul and crush the heart. Our “normal” is gone.

This is devastating. Somehow, we must learn to be kind to ourselves. Patience, both with ourselves and others, has become a necessary survival skill.

Our wounded hearts can heal, but we will never be the same.

We must take our own grieving hearts seriously.


Adapted from the award-winning bestseller, Please Be Patient, I’m Grieving: How to Care For and Support the Grieving Heart. 

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About the Author

Gary Roe is an author, speaker, and chaplain with Hospice Brazos Valley. He is the author of the award-winning bestsellers Shattered: Surviving the Loss of a Child, Please Be Patient, I'm Grieving, HEARTBROKEN: Healing from the Loss of a Spouse, and Surviving the Holidays without You and the co-author (with New York Times Bestseller Cecil Murphey) of Saying Goodbye: Facing the Loss of a Loved One. Visit him at www.garyroe.com.

I'm Grieving, Now What?