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Secondary Losses: Why Grief is So Hard & Lasts So Long

I find that most grievers are surprised by their grief. By the depth of it, the longevity of it, and the inflexibility of it.

Grieving in the Second Year After a Loss

Grieving

There is a pretty well-accepted theory on grieving that the first year is the hardest. The loss is so new, the first months can be spent in a blur of shock and disbelief.

A Swallow-tail Butterfly Took to the Air...

A Swallow-tail Butterfly Took to the Air…

 

When Unspoken Grief Speaks

I turned 40 years old last week.  Today is the thirty-fifth anniversary of my mother’s death in a car accident.  For practically my whole life, the turning of the next year in my life and my mom’s death have been inextricably linked.  I can’t think of one without t

Holidays don't have to suck

Holidays don't have to suck

 

It has taken me a about few years to get this, but I finally do. For me, it was about not being with my family. I moved my entire life to Florida to begin a new life with Pete. We made our own traditions, and I also continued some of his. 

 

When GRIEF and THANKSGIVING Collide, Who Will Win?

Grief is about to meet Thanksgiving. Which one will win?

HOLIDAYS - When Old Pain Becomes Fresh Again

Pain runs deep. Grief scars are powerful, and sink into the darkest recesses of the heart. Catastrophic wounds can throw us into survival mode for a while.

No matter how old the wound, with the right trigger, the pain can become incredibly fresh again.

Grief is like that. And it’s especially challenging during the holiday season.

When Holidays Bring Sadness

One Sunday afternoon when I was fifteen, my dad had a massive heart attack and collapsed in front of me. They resuscitated him at the hospital, but he never regained consciousness. For a week I sat by his bed and talked about anything and everything that came into my mind.

I knew he wasn’t going to make it.

When Holidays Hurt

Holidays can be naturally hard. When you’ve lost someone, special days can seem impossible.

“I’m scared. It’s like I’m frozen and can’t move. How am I going to face our anniversary without him?” said Tina, whose husband Frank died.

“When I look ahead to Father’s Day, all I can think about is him,” said Jeff, who lost his father.

Full Circle: Reaching the Age of My Murdered Father

Feb. 10th 1988 I said good-bye to my father I was 16.  Today on my birthday I turn the same age my father was when he was murdered 44 years young.

Today is also my Mother's  birthday, I was born on her birthday August 17.  My mother would be 69 today but she passed away at the early age of 47.

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