Spring awakens with the dawn of a new day. A new day that I get up and try to feel for my existence. It doesn't come. I'm here but I am not. Twenty eight months. I've come a long way but yet not so far. My needs are small in comparison but simplistically impossible. I want to see your beautiful face. Your twinkling eyes. Your quirky smile.
It is raining again – I am more comfortable in cold and rainy weather because it mirrors my soul. Sunny, bright weather seems wrong as it emphasizes a world that continues on happily, other lives and people in love untouched by my pain – happy sunny weather, happy people in my cold world where I don’t fit in anymore. The cold greyness suits me.
Every Body Has a Spirit
That The Human Eye Can't See
When We Leave This Mortal Earth
Our Spirit Is Set Free
The Loves We Shared Upon This Earth
With Our Spirit Still Remain
And Will Go On Forever
Until We Meet Those Loves Again
People Have So Many Questions
Unspoken Words Still Fill Their Head
Always Remember Your Loved One
I panicked when I first realized I don’t have your voice recorded anywhere: no voicemail, no video clip with sound. A few seconds only of a soundless video clip when I was testing my new camera is the only "live" evidence left...I am so afraid I will forget the sound of your voice.
Since crossing this bridge in my life - this terrible, terrible tragic loss I have to realize: my life is different since I crossed the bridge. It's not the life I have chosen, but it is the life I have now.