I had never heard of “widow fog” or the fog of grief until I became a widow. You probably hadn’t either. It’s not something that non-grievers discuss. That meant that I was caught totally off guard when memory problems arose after Pat’s death. I really questioned if I was losing my mind. It really did feel as though I were in a fog.
Of all the skills a new widow needs to master, and there are so many, one of the most helpful is becoming computer literate and very good at online research. I’d rank it in the top three. Why such a high ranking? Why is this one so important?
An old friend from long ago asked me today if I was alone in the world now?
I think the answer depends on how you look at it. It’s true, my family consists of 2 folks well (well) into their 80’s. One is my mother and she has dementia. I also have a 1/2 cousin I consider more of a friend (a very good friend) than a cousin, and another cousin I don’t know well. All of them, other than my mother, live several states away.
When our hearts have been hit, loneliness begins to invade. Every relationship is unique. No wonder grief is lonely.
FROM THE GRIEVING HEART:
People seem shy around me. And no one mentions you. Why is that?
Are they worried about upsetting me? I’m already upset.
When a loved one dies, our lives are altered forever. This includes the future we anticipated.
FROM THE GRIEVING HEART:
When loss strikes, our lives are forever altered. We don't like this new life. Someone we love is missing.
FROM THE GRIEVING HEART:
I don’t like this new life. I want a life with you back in it. I miss talking to you. I want to hear your voice — not a voicemail, but your real voice. I want you here, now.
Loss sensitizes us. It can make more kind and compassionate. We can look back and wish we knew then what we know now.
We need to be heard. We need to be seen. We want to be loved. Grief is hard enough already.
We know loss is painful, but none of us is quite prepared for the loneliness that descends on us.
From the Grieving Heart:
Grief is a marathon. It's fatiguing and exhausting. We can wonder if it will ever end.
From the Grieving Heart:
