The holidays can be a very difficult time for those who are grieving. Many bereaved have difficulty understanding and managing their grieving process. This may be because the holidays are a reminder of the people who should be at the holiday table, but are not. Their absence remains, even as the years pass.
How do I move forward without guilt?
Taking into account all that we have built!
Alone, confused, conflicted!
That’s how I feel everyday, my brain is twisted!
My thoughts are in competition with my heart to see which can form the most knots.
How can I do that without you?
Spring awakens with the dawn of a new day. A new day that I get up and try to feel for my existence. It doesn't come. I'm here but I am not. Twenty eight months. I've come a long way but yet not so far. My needs are small in comparison but simplistically impossible. I want to see your beautiful face. Your twinkling eyes. Your quirky smile.
The season has ended. Blossoms of purples and whites fill my sight. I pass through the fields of heather and look beyond the sea. A peacefulness settles in the misty dew surrounding my body and filling my senses. I am with someone. A beautiful feeling of pure and abundant love emanates sparkles of light that reach deep within my soul. It is my son. He reaches for my hand and helps me up.
It was a normal moment. The last meeting before Easter was coming to a close, the cookie container was emptying, people were discussing next steps. Sitting in my church’s conference room at a large rectangular table, I heard one of my colleagues say, “Let’s close in prayer.”
I Miss Your Beautiful Smile
I miss your beautiful smile,
The one that lights the room,
That twinkle in your eyes,
That melts our hearts,
And makes the girls swoon.
Your gone too soon,
The candle still burns,
A flicker of light,
Is left undisturbed.
Peace be with you,
And us below,