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What Is Grief?

The Grief Toolbox is providing our user contributed articles as well as aggregated articles from a variety of blogs. Please join our community and comment on the articles, let us and others know what you found helpful and that you did not. Together we can help each other as well as future travelers on their grief journey. We are also always looking for additional contributors; if you see a topic you would like to share your thoughts on, please submit content.

In November, it will be 35 years since my father died by suicide. He is still with me as much as he ever was, and paradoxically, he is also more absent than ever. My emotional relationship with him has changed and evolved more during the time since he died than it did when he was alive, and I daresay that I understand him better than I understand any other human being I have ever known. And at...


With the diagnosis of cancer,

She took the hand of God and did not let go

She needed Him now more than ever before

This was not the time to lose faith or question why

She was not cancer and would not let it define her

She was a wife, mother, grandmother, sister, aunt,

A friend and a fighter, who wasn’t yet ready to leave the ring

She took the hand of...


Heart: the organ that sees better than the eye.  Yiddish Proverb

We all have questions after a loved one dies. After the fog of shock lifts in the early days of...


Love Story

got it all wrong.

There’s nothing romantic about cancer

It’s hideous and hateful

ugly and mean.

Not satisfied to consume only its’ victims

it devours the hearts and souls

of everyone who loves them.

There is nothing romantic

about kissing your partner goodnight

before walking across a hospital parking lot



I have been told that one thing that would help me is to get out and volunteer.  I've thought about it, but I know I am not ready yet.  Losing Ray has been so very hard.  He was my strength when I was down.  You see, when I met Ray, I had very little trust in men.  In fact, I was scared to death of being alone with a man. 

When I was 13, I was raped by my...


It has become like breathing...

Sometimes I wonder why I am not thinking about Alicia more frequently or feeling the intense pain of grief more often…And then I realize, I am.

I am thinking about her and feeling the pain of grief all day, every day. I don’t always notice it on a conscious level--much like breathing. It has become so much a...


My mind says he's gone

my heart says no.

I look for him

I listen for his voice

I miss sharing my day with him

I miss his endearing words

I miss his wisdom

... Comments

Desolation – n. A state of complete emptiness; Anguished misery.

Degree - n.  Any of a series of steps or stages.

Nothing wreaks havoc on the body like grief. Loaded like a ballistic missile, it hits a target and leaves in it’s wake,  a sublethal dose of desolation. This isn’t a normal kind...


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