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Suicide

Burn The Cloak Of Shame

Recently a friend invited me over to share a glass of wine and catch up on life.   We had returned to her home after enjoying lunch at a local cafe feasting on southern style meat and 3 and our sweet tea all while sitting outside breathing in the sweet Tennessee air.  I am not sure we stopped talking from the moment we saw one another.  It was one of the most

LEAVE ME ALONE: Valuing Silence In Grief

Grief can be a solitary experience.  As much as we try, we cannot make others see life through the same lens.  Even when two people share the same experience, each will recount it in a different way.
 
When my daughter died, what I needed most wasn't for someone to make me feel better.  Hannah was dead and nothing could change that.

A Year in Grief

A Year of Grief

 

A New Day

Spring awakens with the dawn of a new day. A new day that I get up and try to feel for my existence. It doesn't come. I'm here but I am not. Twenty eight months. I've come a long way but yet not so far. My needs are small in comparison but simplistically impossible. I want to see your beautiful face. Your twinkling eyes. Your quirky smile.

The Season Has Ended (The Dream)

The season has ended. Blossoms of purples and whites fill my sight. I pass through the fields of heather and look beyond the sea. A peacefulness settles in the misty dew surrounding my body and filling my senses. I am with someone. A beautiful feeling of pure and abundant love emanates sparkles of light that reach deep within my soul. It is my son. He reaches for my hand and helps me up.

The Blank Pages

The Blank Pages

 

 

The reality sets in as you stare out a frosted window pane. Drifting snow up to the roofs of the cars in the parking lot. It's December 2014 and all you can think of this night is suicide.

 

"He Didn't Say Goodbye"

11 years ago on Jan, 10, 2005 we buried My Father. He left behind my sister, my brother and Myself along with 13 grandchildren, 3 nephews and His only sister. He left all of us to bare the pain he couldn't. 

My Piles of Memories

Piles

Piles of things I need to do...

Piles of things I need to sort through,
Piles of things I'm collecting for his girls when they are older,
Piles of memories that make me smile and some that make me cry,
Piles of things to toss out of here sooner than never!
Piles with their importance to his lost life,

The Flowerbed

The overgrown flower bed taunts me.. I can hear my mother's disappointed voice. "Jennifer, that flowerbed is atrocious.. over grown.. it needs weeding." My mother loves this house.. She loves to garden.. There are flowerbeds all over the place, on every side of the property. Too much for even me to handle.

Can't let go

I often wonder if you miss me as much as I miss you.

God knows I think of you every second of every day.

I think of the special moments we shared.

Those were some of the happiest times of my life.

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