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Last month I hiked up the North Fork of Big Pine Creek to a camp at 5th Lake. The camp was located in the Eastern Sierra out of Big Pine, California. I was camping with with my late husband’s extended family (brothers and sisters-in-law, one niece and nephew) and my husband of six months, Larry. The trip marked my extended family’s 25th annual pack trip to the Eastern side of the Sierra.

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Wow, wow, wow what an emotional roller coaster this month has been, and it's not over yet. To say that May 2014 is one of the most difficult months of my life is an understatement.  Prayers please for May 30th, as we attend the sentencing for Tate, the driver of the accident. Most of you are aware of where my family and myself stand. I just finished an emotional letter that I  will...


The Stillness that I,  as well as many feel can be so cold, but just as I sit here quietly and still I feel a touch to remind me of...


Seconds, Minutes, Hours, Days, Months and now 2 years just seem unreal. The thoughts, feelings and questions are still there. Once I recall a month after we lost you. I was told ok yyou've grieved enough. Where and How does one even measure the feelings and sense of being loss are measured. 

I know survival set in when the numbness took over and the  dazed and confused were...



A letter to an inquiring stranger asking for advice on how to help a friend whose husband just died:

"I'm sorry to hear of your friend's loss...


The new normal? Of course I had not heard this phrase until after Tim died. It was then that it popped up a lot. I started to cringe every time I would run across it. Wasn't the death of my son enough? Now I had to learn to live a new life. Understand the world in a new way. No!!!! I did not want this. Once again, I had no choice. It had already started the moment he died.

No matter our...


Sometimes it was pitch black and sometimes it was an awesome day. Years of torment, endless cycles, treatment, over and over again. I suffer from manic-depressive disorder. Medication helps but I sometimes find myself feeling hopeless. My last suicide attempt landed me in front a psychiatrist who had treated hundreds like me. It was the result of many years of self help.

I am not sure...


I do an awful lot of thinking in my car. While it is thought provoking,it is kind of scary. I get to where I am going, sometimes not knowing how I got there ! 

I have had quite the journey. I haven't done a good job processing my loss,is a good way to put it, I suppose. I sure am no different than any parent who has lost a child..we all love the same. But, for some reason, I just...


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