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What Is Grief?

The Grief Toolbox is providing our user contributed articles as well as aggregated articles from a variety of blogs. Please join our community and comment on the articles, let us and others know what you found helpful and that you did not. Together we can help each other as well as future travelers on their grief journey. We are also always looking for additional contributors; if you see a topic you would like to share your thoughts on, please submit content.

The insecurities are very strong,
The thoughts and memories keep coming along.
I try to see this as a fresh start,
But I can't seem to convey that to my heart.
I do my best to think it's not the same,
But I will always feel like I am to blame.
I should have done things differently somehow,
I live so scared and always worrying now.
I don't...

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I don't really know if everyone wrests (tortures themselves) with the puzzlement of Heaven versus hell but I know I have thought long about this disparity....

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This is coming from my heart
I feel I've been torn apart
Everyday I fight to be ok
To know how blessed I am
to have another day
Everyday is a chance to make things alright
To start a new path, to start a new life
We all are imperfect in one form or another
How lucky are we to know each other
High School Peeps You will always remain a special place...

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A storm wakes me

My living room filled with flashing light

I turn my head

I see red

I want to run

to the ocean or the mountains

Somewhere I can catch a sunrise

in peace

 

A storm like drums

A storm full of sadness

A storm in the dark of night

 

I smell the air and remember

a fall evening by the...

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I recently visited my daughter Hannah's grave.  I have not been there for many years.  I do what I always do. I lay on the grass and remember her hands.  
 
My sister Laura helps me wash and decorate the gravestone.  We eat a picnic and share memories of Hannah.  While we watch ducks and their babies, a grey heron stands at the edge of the...
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Grief is exhausting.  For the past five months I feel as if I'm living a double life.  Just when I think I'm making progress my grief knocks me to my knees leaving me struggling to get back up.  Some days I'm so...

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NDEs and The Beings of Light

 

#3… This is my third article on life, death, grief, and signs.  To make sense of the journey I propose for you, I recommend that you, please, step through my articles in order.  They may be found at https://thegrieftoolbox.com/users/...

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Spring awakens with the dawn of a new day. A new day that I get up and try to feel for my existence. It doesn't come. I'm here but I am not. Twenty eight months. I've come a long way but yet not so far. My needs are small in comparison but simplistically impossible. I want to see your beautiful face. Your twinkling eyes. Your quirky smile. I miss your hugs, your love, your very existence in my...

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Muted darkness has given way to lightened shapes of distant colors. Today, I can see through a tunneled kaleidoscope of prismatic, disarranged but softly spoken whispers of change. Today, I stepped beside the hole. The black hole, the one that ingests you till you bleed blackness, the blackness that tears your soul into mortifying shards of glass. Cocooned. Until the light reaches down, down...

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It's been seven months. I have to remind myself to breathe. It's the space between the breath, where time stops and everything is still. You can actually feel the blood pulsating through your veins as your body wakes with silent tremors from the cascading tears silently flowing from your eyes. Seven months. How does my heart still beat after holding my breath for so many months. Surely, if...

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