I'M AT HEAVENS DOOR

10 pills on the counter...
Bag with a needle sharp as a twill...
Some coke on a mirror...

A rolled up dollar bill...

Well this is it...
I promise today...
After I do it...
I'll throw it away

I'll get rid of the baggage..
That I carry around..
You won't have to worry...
If I go to "that" side of town

I have it all planned...
I'll have the last laugh...
I'll get into college...
I'll be top of my class

I want to go to the park..
I want to play with my baby...
Throw a ball for my dog...
Lay with my cat and be lazy

See I have plans...
So much still to do...
So don't worry about me..
I do the worrying for two

I owe people money...
I think I owe some to you...
I'll pay everyone back...
This I promise to do

I know I have said...
I was ready before...
But this is the last time...
I know it for sure

See this time is different...
I can beat this thing...
Yes, it's Big and it's Huge....
And it has a strong hold of me

But I got this....
I can do all I want...
I'm stronger than most...
The others want what I got

So see I did it...
I broke from it's hold...
Wait. why are you crying

Why am i cold?

There are so many people....
They are crying too...
It's not what I meant...
Not the LAST thing I'd do!

Look I'm just sleeping...
I see me down there...
Someone wake me up...
No! Don't put me in there!

I'm floating above now...
Oh, Mom what did I do????

Of all of the dumb things,,,
I never meant to hurt you

How did this happen...
I just wanted one more...
The gates now are opening...
I am at heavens door


BY GWENDY VANUCCI