Surrounding myself with your stuff

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CathleenBell March 27, 2016 - 11:18pm

You have been gone about 6 weeks. Your clothes are in the closet. I sleep under your blankets, I wear your clothes. I am rummaging through boxes of stuff that does not matter, but I can't throw anything away. I am clinging to your things, trying to hold on to pieces of you. Am I insane? Why do I want your old box of wooden dominoes that's missing two? Or endless, random pins, keychains, books, marbles, dice? I don't want these things because I like or need them. Only because they are your things.

Why does my heart feel like it's going to explode?

About the Author
I lost my husband to Alcoholic Cardiomyopathy, End stage Copd, cirrhosis, and lung cancer that had spread from throat cancer he had in 2008. He just passed away Feb. 4, 2016. This is the hardest thing I have ever gone through. No amount of pleading, praying, crying could reach him. Maybe he couldn't stop. Couldn't beat addiction. My heart feels like it's going to explode sometimes, and there is nobody to talk to about this. I need this community, both to share our story, and to let someone else know they aren't alone.
What is Grief?

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