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Ten Things I Never Expected From Grief

 
Because we knew that my daughter was dying, I believed I was prepared for grief. I was wrong. No matter how much we prepare, everything changes. These aspects of grief surprised me.

1. Losing time

Loving the Missing

I recently visited my daughter Hannah's grave.  I have not been there for many years.  I do what I always do. I lay on the grass and remember her hands.  
 
My sister Laura helps me wash and decorate the gravestone.  We eat a picnic and share memories of Hannah.

When We Lose Someone in Pieces

Grief is an individual adventure. No two people are the same. Every person, every relationship is unique. So is every loss.

Each death or loss comes with its own special challenges. Losing a person in pieces over time is no exception.

Smile Because It Happened

Smile Because It Happened

SHE NEVER CARED FOR FLOWERS

SHE NEVER CARED FOR FLOWERS

A Letter to Mama, if you're reading...

Mom,

If I'd Only Known......

                                       If I'd Only Known......

the dead parents club

 

this is my family.

from left to right, it goes:

me, dad, mom, sister, sister, brother.

this photo was taken last christmas.

since then, i've join the dead parents club.

Feeling It

.
emotions are meant to be felt.
so why is it so hard to feel them?
why is my first reaction always: "find a way to shut them up."
even happiness is difficult for me.
I realize I'm feeling happy and *boom,* I'm doing something that will surely push that happiness away
.
who really wants to grieve?

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