Staying Close to Your Lost Loved One by Creating a Memorial Fund

Staying Close to Your Lost Loved One by Creating a Memorial Fund

"A scholarship fund? Sure, that sounds like a great idea", I mumbled in the fog of grief that engulfed me, not really comprehending what it meant. We were writing the obituary for my son, Chris, and we needed that one line at the bottom that guides people who want to donate to something. We wanted a vehicle that would discourage flowers in favor of something more lasting, something more meaningful. Two of Chris’ co-workers had suggested creating the Christopher Meadows Memorial Paramedic Education Fund. "It would be an amazing way to keep his memory alive while at the same time helping others pursue the career path Chris had planned for himself," said the co-workers with the great idea. Chris, a budding emergency services worker, was killed while volunteering in 2009 when the ATV he was riding overturned. He was responding to a medical call at Oceano Dunes in Central California. Chris had planned to attend paramedic school that next fall, but never got the chance.

So, we set up the bank account for the fund, not knowing what to expect. The money started to trickle, then flow in. Hundreds of dollars turned into thousands. We always knew Chris had an impact on those around him, but it was gratifying to know that friends, family and co-workers cared enough to support our fledgling cause and keep his memory alive. We were humbled and overcome by the outpouring of love these contributions represented.

I Don't Want my Son to be Forgotten

No one can really describe what it feels like to lose a son in his prime. Chris was 24, with his life ahead of him, and such a big heart. I knew he could do anything he put his mind to, and was proud that he had chosen a career helping others. But, my biggest fear after Chris' death was that he would be forgotten. I quickly saw the memorial scholarship as a fantastic way to prevent that from happening. We began putting on annual fundraising events which were part memorial and part fundraising. That gave us the resources to start awarding scholarships to people who could continue the quest Chris could not. I have since taken it on as a personal challenge to increase visibility of our fund, seek out corporate sponsors, and donations, and most importantly interview the candidates for the scholarship dollars. I get tremendous personal satisfaction out of this work. It is my way of staying closely connected to my son, even after he is gone. I can’t think of a more powerful, meaningful purpose in my life.

Each year our fundraising becomes more successful than the last. More people are touched with Chris' story. This progress translates to an ever-increasing number of scholarship grants we are able to make to paramedic and EMT students. It also, quite literally, means that more and more people are remembering my son, which makes me feel good. It gives me so much positive energy to be raising money in Chris' memory and awarding scholarships in his name. That's what I call the healing power of creating a memorial fund.

Make Sure it is Right For You

Let me tell you, while keeping your child’s memory alive by creating a memorial fund can be therapeutic and helpful on many levels, it's a lot of work. Frankly, not everyone has the available time or energy to make a fund successful. Just because it worked for me, doesn't mean it is right for you. Make sure you think it through before embarking on this 'labor of love'. Make sure you have a few close friends who want to help you be successful with fundraising, event planning and scholarship awards, just to name a few tasks key to running a successful memorial fund.

If you're up for it, pick a cause that resonated with your child and build your fund around that purpose. That way you can honor your child's memory while at the same time 'pay it forward' in a way that would have had special meaning to your child.

Follow the Rules, It Can be Hard or Easy

By definition, a memorial scholarship fund should have not-for-profit status. While a lot of memorial funds are set up without this status established and approved by the IRS, there can be severe penalties and personal income tax consequences if the rules are not followed. The correct tax exempt status as defined by the IRS is known as 501(c)(3). I know from my own experience that establishing this status is not for the faint-hearted. It involves attorneys and accountants to set up the fund with a specific governance structure and then filing tax returns each year after you are granted the 501(c)(3) designation. That means money expended and precise record keeping.

I ultimately found an organization called CharitySmith (www.charitysmith.org) which aids funds like mine with the set-up and maintenance of a memorial fund. Since CharitySmith is already their own 501(c)(3), you are spared all of the headache, and most of the expense of having to set up your own non-profit.

So, here’s three things you need to keep in mind if you’re interested in creating a memorial fund:

1)    Make sure you’re up to the task, and have a few people to help who all have the time and energy to make the fund successful.

2)    Pick a cause that reflects your child’s passion to help keep that connection alive.

3)    Structure your fund according to IRS rules for non-profits to avoid costly tax penalties.

Six years ago when Chris' co-workers suggested a memorial fund, I couldn't have imagined the healing power it would have for me. It has helped me deal with the loss of a child and given me the opportunity to stay close to my son. It has created the "community of Chris Meadows" and aided countless needy EMS students. Best of all, Christopher Meadows will never be forgotten.

About the Author

Tim spends the bulk of his time and emotional energy as administrator for the Christopher Meadows Memorial EMS Education Fund.  The fund awards paramedic and EMT scholarships annually to Central California students pursuing careers in emergency medicine. Having raised over $150,000 since its inception, the scholarship fund most recently granted 6 scholarships in the fall of 2014.

Tim is married to Mardy, his wife of 37 years and has two daughters, Kelly 28, and Jen 25. Tim and Mardy reside in Santa Cruz, CA. In his spare time, Tim pursues his other passions, which include photography, travel, and cycling, while always striving to follow his son’s credo “Never Say ‘Why Didn’t I…’”