Why Do We Grieve Anyway?

By 

Expert Author Dora Carpenter

Ever think about the question, "Why do we grieve?" It can have somewhat of a negative connotation, a sad feeling, a time of doom and gloom, a period for one to 'hurry up and get over it.' Take a moment and ponder this reason for grieving. "We grieve because we loved." Doesn't that add a lighter, softer, more peaceful feeling to the emotions of grief? If you didn't love the person who has died, you wouldn't grieve anyway. You would go about life as it was, without feeling that anything is missing.

The loss of a loved one can leave you broken and hopeless. This same loss, on the other hand, can also give you an awakening of your authentic inner self. The loss can force you to look inward for strength, peace, meaning, love, and purpose. If you think of the reason for grieving as "love," and allow this love to enter, it can possibly empower you to positively transform your life going forward.

The result of looking at your grief journey as a journey of love is gratitude. Gratitude for the many things that you received from and shared with your loved one, such as joy, companionship, fun, hand holding, laughter, drama, happiness, sadness... not just material things. Gratitude for the legacy your loved one left you, the community, and the world. What about gratitude for the experience and growth that you gained from the relationship? What about gratitude for the person you are becoming as a result of the loss, the relationship, the legacy, and the love?

Gratitude simply changes the way you see and perceive life. It changes the way you see and perceive people. It changes the way you see and perceive yourself. I think the recipe for life is really simple -- "Love and Gratitude."

We grieve because we loved. You are powerful and you are loving. You have an obligation to live your life for the rest of your life; so, power up with the love and start moving forward. What action step can you take today to exhibit love as a result of your loss?

Here is an exercise to help you further ponder why you grieve:

 

  1. On a piece of paper, number the lines from 1 to 21.
  2. List 21 things that you miss most about your loved one.
  3. Now, go back and ponder a "take away" expression of love for each one.
  4. To go even further, how can you transfer that expression or lesson of love to help someone else in your life, in your community, in the world?

 

Life is simple... it's all about love and gratitude. Go out and share some love today.

Statistics show that it normally takes 5-8 years to recover from a devastating loss. Dora Carpenter, Certified Grief Coach, Certified Life Coach, and founder of The ANIYA Group Life Coaching Center, says it doesn't have to take that long. Her grief coaching practice offers hope, encouragement and support. In her book, "The Grief to Gratitude Blueprint... What to Do When Death Occurs," Dora gives tips on 24-72 hours following a death... and beyond.

Read more about Dora and her books at http://www.DoraCarpenter.com.

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