My dear wife Christine

What did we do to deserve it Our sin was to fall in love with each other. Didn't we deserve to live happily We married because we loved. It wasn't just a passing thing. We made our marriage work through our differences. Yes we had some but we didn't give up on each other. When all was said and done neither of us would want to leave following a disagreement.

We apparently reached our allotted happiness Poor you in agony At the VA in Northport Long Island, ER you took 18 pills and 4 insulin shots a day and the last 2 years of our life together you got worse we spent two weeks ever month at the VA in Northport Long Island, you had a Pace Maker later to disconnect it. i think because you knew it was time to pass away because you could not take it any more. then you had your veins blone to the blood flowing throu your legs better. then you had 3 stents put in the bottom part of your legs one in the left two in the right, then after Doctor said he could not do any thing more he removed frist your right leg above the knee about 6 months later the right leg below the knee then about a year later they went and took off the left leg above the knee. the VA suppled us with a wheel chair.

The VA in Northport Long Island did all they could do as i always say God Bless VA for what they did for us. we got a Mini Van and the VA got us a chair for the van that came out went down to the level for the wheel chair we took the slide board got you from the wheel chair to the seat of the van then you pressed the chair butten and the chair went up into the van, the VA also gave us a Hoyer Lift, Hospital Bed and a Slide Board and what ever else we needed. as summer came you wanted to go in to the Pool we used the Hoyer Lift to get you into the Pool but when it came time to get you out we could not get you out so i went into the pool with my close on you grabed my shoulder i got you up one step at a time and then we had to roll you back and forth to get you on the Hoyer Lift Sling at that point i know this was no life for you and i did not want you to live like this when you were not around i went into the other room and cryed you had know i-dear how meny time i cryed when you were not around your mother got very mad at me if i started to cry in front of you but i think if you saw me cry you would have none it was hard for me as much as you to see the one i love more then life it self and i could not to a thing hert so bad i would have trade places with you if i could.

I remember when you layed in the VA in Northport Long Island ER with those tubes down your chroat you could talk to me your mom cane to the VA and talked to you then your mom came out and told me that i am to go home with her take a shower get new close then come back to the VA when i got home i put my close together then took a shower got dressed and your mom had me do some things around the home then i got in to the car then someone at the house ran out told me to go back in the house your mom told me to sit down and told me you passed away. i felt so bad that i was not there and you were alone and by your self when it happened maybe i could have done some thing. maybe yelled and maybe someone could have got there sooner and saved you. i was told later if you lived to the morning you would have been brain dead. o my god i lost you after only 14 years of marriage the Doctors said you died at 10:34pm on June 27th of "Cardiopulmonary Failure" and "Septic Shock" and "Multi Focal Pnuemonia" but it hurts so bad that i was not there but now i think you did not want me there because i would have went nuts, cryed and screamed and you wanted to go in peace so you waited until i was gone so in some way you told your mom to take me home so you can pass away in peace. but all i know is you were the love of my life and my soulmate and i will love you forever and hope to meet again on the other side where we can dance and run and walk side by side.

This was your penance for being a good mother and a good wife to me. My penance is to suffer in grief at losing the most precious love I've ever had. What in the world did we do so bad but love each other that we should deserve this end No one can take your place. I will love you until I die. Then I will search for you in heaven because that is where I should find you.

Your devoted husband Eric