Father's Day Grief

Father's Day is filled with the joy and celebration of recognition and acknowledgement, the coming together with family in moments of togetherness. Yet for many it can be tinged with great sadness. For those who know the pain of grief, this day can be one of the many which triggers our loss once more. A day filled with bittersweet memories and the ache of longing.

This day impacts those who not only are physically missing a beloved father or father figure, but for those who are Dads themselves and feeling the stab that comes from their child not being there to say hello, or come by on this much celebrated family day. A Dad is always a Dad, no matter whether their child was with them for a whisper in time or for a number of years, the bond remains. Then there are those whose fathers have drifted off to a place that is unreachable, a place where their mind is untouchable and we have them but we don't. In all of this there a deep void that hangs in the air and it hurts.

It is a natural thing to focus on what we don't have on this day because it hurts so very much, yet impossible as it seems there is much we do have. Our loved ones imprint themselves on us in ways that we often don't recognise and celebrate, in ways that will remain with us always. Today this is what we have and how we can honour and remember the many beautiful special Dads on this day.

You will never lose your love - your love for them and theirs for you. It is there a constant pendulum swinging between the two of you.

Feel the essence of them within you - their mannerisms, their joy, their habits, their pursuits, themselves. Bring that to mind, remember them with love, with gratitude, with laughter on this day. Share a beautiful memory, speak their name, eat their favourite food. Live them, celebrate them.

What did they give you that is yours to keep always - tap into that today. What did they teach you? What values did you share? Their stories, their life, their view of the world are yours to take a piece of and hold tight.

What do you love most above all about them? - your one special thing, the one that encapsulates all that they were and all that they are. Keep it, treasure it and let it bloom in your heart today.

Bring this with you wherever you go this Father's Day. There will be sadness, there will be missing and wishing. Yet amidst that let them imprint themselves in your very being, in the deepest ache of your heart and in the tears that fall from your eyes. Feel their love and feel the essence of who they are with you always.

Maureen Hunter is the founder of Esdeer. She is an inspirational writer and grief steps mentor giving comfort and hope to many. She is passionate about helping people to step through grief and build a new and different life after loss, one that their loved one is always part of.