the dead parents club

this is my family.

from left to right, it goes:

me, dad, mom, sister, sister, brother.

this photo was taken last christmas.

since then, i've join the dead parents club.

oh, you've never heard of it?

yeah, i hadn't either.

not until that lady in the middle, mom, went missing.

cancer, if you must know.

diagnosed just 5 months after this photo.

died just 4 months later.

"welcome to the dead parents club," my best friend said to me.

yes, welcome, indeed.

i've always wanted to be part of a club.

i never thought the first club i joined would be one i'm stuck with, forever.

"get me out of the dead parents club," i beg God.

night afer night, i pray and i pray,

wake me up from this nightmare.

but there is no waking up.

this is a forever-membership.

if i had it my way, i'd have a board on the outside of the club entrance that read:

"NO BOYS OR GIRLS ALLOWED!"

because no one should be part of this club.

not when you're 25.

i hate you, dead parents club.

because of you, we are missing the center of our family,

the core of our home,

the light of our lives,

the peace in our minds,

the endless love of our mama,

the yin to dad's yang,

the best friend us kids were born with.

if you are already in this club with me,

i stand with you.

i stand with you in resisting the idea

that this club will always be in our lives

until we die.

no matter the age,

i imagine losing a parent is one of the hardest things one will endure.

but if you are young like us,

i grant you permission,

on behalf of the club's board,

to do whatever you need to do

to feel okay.

and i will continue to write on behalf of our tragic club.

i will continue to wish we could undo our membership.

and i will pray for our broken hearts, every night.