Often times I have come across lists of things to say to those that grieve, there is no more than one thing on my list, that should be on all lists.  No words are needed to be said, hug them, in silence is the only way.  Those who are grieving just want to know you are there, that you can be there, we want to know that through it all we are loved, that someone does care, no words are needed your love along with a hug is all.  It is too often I have realised just how many will turn their backs not due to not caring but for the fact they do not know the words to say, they do not know how to make it all better.  If you understand that there is nothing to say or do then you will understand that there is nothing uncomfortable about embracing those that grieve.
It is worse to the hearts that grieve to see so many not show anything, to see those familiar faces we loved so much end up no longer there, so as we grieve for our loved ones passed we also grieve for those familiar faces that have turned and walked away.  If you really are there, if you really love those that grieve then no doubt you will find your way to be there for them.  To those uncomfortable, do not be anything but love, no words, not anything will make everything better, being in silence with no words is more powerful then you think.  As someone who grieves I do know that so many will turn away due to being uncomfortable, I also understand it is through it all you find who the true ones are.  My list to what to say to those that grieve is NOTHING, simply stand with them in silence, hug them as well as let them know you care, let them know you love them. 

In the beginning of grief our world is no longer, life as we knew it is no longer, to see others disappear affects our hearts, our thoughts, our process of grieving.  To see so many we trusted, we loved,  turn their cheek has more impact on us that no one can ever realise.  As time goes on we understand that it is the truest of ones that always walk with us on the path as we grieve.  Yet it is in the beginning that support as well as love is the most important, our lives die, to see so many familiar faces no longer hits us with an impact that no words describe.  As we go by we understand that it is OK to see the ones that have left us, we understand the true ones that stand will forever be.  It is through love along with support that helps our grieving hearts start to mend, our pain takes in the love to lift the pain away.  So when your thinking its OK to not to of said nothing you are wrong it is everything that you have not.  Even if you don't walk that path fully with those who grieve, knowing you are still there gives hope, gives love.

I have been blessed to have so many that are still here beside me through my walk of grief yet I still feel the brokenness of those I thought would be that are not.  The lessons in grief are many, the things we become, the things we see, the love that we feel, the true colours that shine through are truly blessings to our lives.  It is through it all you truly see the true colours of life in everything.  Right now through this post I want people to just understand to love, no matter how hard, no matter how difficult just let those in need know you love.  It does not matter if you can not find the words, the silence will tell more then you will ever know.  Let the broken hearted know there is hope, that through you the hope will restore.  Through you the love will never be forgotten, that the love never goes anywhere in pain, through you the grieving know their smile will return. 
The beauty in grieving lays in the hands of the love as well as support that others can give to us all.  Through the love and support we see there is hope, that our darkness fades just a little, it is through it we understand we can get through the days, it is through it we find our strength, we find out that in that lesson us to can still reach out to others as well to help.  A grieving soul should never look around them to see no one, they should always look around to see love, to see faces they have loved in their life for so long still standing with them, even unfamiliar faces that have stood up to walk with them through grief.  Sometimes in life we are presented with people we have never thought of, it is through those people we understand life has a way of always putting someone in our life at a time we most need them.  I am amazed by the people who have been put in my life through this path I am walking in grieving.  It is Gods little blessings to our hearts that we find these people, it is through God they are put in to our life to touch our hearts to help break our pain.

To all grieving hearts that may feel alone, always understand as well as know that you are never alone, if not one familiar face is around you, reach out to those you may not know, it is in the finding anew you will see that you are not alone, sometimes it is in the finding the love you deserve through grief is the truest of blessings in your life.  You will never ever be alone, love will always surround you even if you have to reach out to grab a hold of it, do not ever be afraid to ask for help, do not ever feel you can not ask for help, it is easy, it is part of life to want help.  Know deep in your hearts you are not alone, that no one is ever alone, it may be quiet, it may be dark, yet in it all there will always be someone who will stand with you.  Sometimes you just have to make the noise first before you hear it around you.  So remember these words and say them loudly if need be no matter how hard "I NEED HELP". 

NOTE TO ALL:  Do not ever feel that you can not help those that grieve, or turn away simply due to not knowing what to say, it is in the silence that as well as being there the grieving know you care, your love along with being there lifts our hearts above the pain we feel trapped in.  No matter how uncomfortable face that feeling to fight it, to be there for those you care.  To those that grieve it is in us as well to reach out to people in need no matter how hard our pain is, it is through the loving that we feel the pain less, by helping others we feel nothing but love as well as joy.  I say to all that grieve PRAY, it seems so simple yet it is powerful, it will lift your heart far and above all the pain. 
To all grieving hearts know in your heart in time you will see many come, many go, yet you will see the most important full of love that never left.  Do not let your heart feel for the ones that left, yet only for the ones that have stayed.  Know in your heart that every second gone by will lead to a day you have made it through your pain.  Don't dwell on the negative when so much positive surrounds you in every tear that falls.  In your heart is a gift, your love is the truest of gift that could ever be.  Your loved ones passed love is what carries through your love, their lessons to us is what keeps them with us forever.
Tonya O
About the Author
BLOGGER FOR ALL GRIEVING ON THE JOURNEY TO WRITING A BOOK "Spouse to Angels in the City" Widow for 11 months also mother of a beautiful little girl
I'm Grieving, Now What?