Don't you hear me ...

Profile picture for user Alex Rodriguez
Alex Rodriguez September 3, 2014 - 12:46pm

Don't you hear me knocking?

I thought you were my friend

I really want to talk to you,

Please, please  let me in. 

  

I tried calling you 

But you don't hear me at all.

That text i sent to you just today

It appears you just  ignored.

 

Perhaps you are  struggling 

Its what that makes this hard

I hoped we'd try together

But you've only put up your guard.

 

Since the day he died. 

Life makes no sense to me.

The only thing that seems to come

Is silence next to me. 

 

I had a dream again. 

 A different one this time. 

you looked at me and said

I just don't have the time. 

 

I thought it was just a dream

I see though it was true. 

You may think I'm being silly

But I think I caught the clue.

 

I don't hear you knocking

There is no one at my door. 

My house and phone are quiet.

The grief with me once more.

 

I thought you were my friend. 

I think i was misled. 

To all the contrary statements

Its your actions that are read. 

 

Grief does funny things

It messes with me so. 

Perhaps this is anger

I don't really know. 

 

 

 

 

 

About the Author
Alex Rodriguez is a wife and mother of 3 boys and life long resident of Mill Valley, CA. She lost her 2nd born son Steven (19) to a very rare brain cancer on 10/17/13. One of 30 documented of adult AT/RT. One of 5 documented cases side effects of chemotherapy called neutropenic gastritis. He was diagnosed May 15, 2013. After suffering uncontrolled headaches for a period of a few weeks and being misdiagnosed as - Wisdom Teeth, Whip lash, dehydration, Poor Diet, and being told by a doctor after doing a neurology exam (sans CT/MRI) "Good news is you don't have a brain tumor".. It was found that he indeed did have a 7cm brain tumor located on his right frontal lobe. After Emergency Craniotomy partial resection , and 121 Days of Inpatient Care of aggressive Chemotherapy ( exploding his tumor) and radiation- his hard fought battle was lost. But not without displaying courage and positiveness and a thirst for life. He was Given 2 options to return home if he had enough.. he continued to fight and would never give up .. as in his words - Even though it "sucked" …he was happy to just be alive. This is my journey as a grieving mother. Steven is survived by Alex, his father, Rafael and 2 brothers Michael (22) and Matthew (13)
I'm Grieving, Now What?

Comments