Are some Possessions Irreplaceable?

Recently I found myself preparing my home for a possible category five hurricane.  My husband was confident that if the storm hit at full force, we would lose our roof.  I froze on the couch while I contemplated what it meant if I lost all my possessions.  I think I sat for about ten minutes. The news was on in the background; I glanced up when I heard the governor say that all possessions are replaceable.  I raised my head at the TV, but my eyes focused on the guitar to the left.  I yelled at the TV that I could never replace my brother’s guitar because he will never own or play another one.   This statement is not correct.  There are some chattels that people own, which are not replaceable because they belonged to a loved one.  I do understand that he meant life is more important than objects.  I also know he was speaking to people who resided in a mandatory evacuation zone.

Nevertheless, a thought came to mind, and I grabbed a pen and paper and made a list of 5 things in my home that belonged to deceased relatives. My list included: (1) brother’s guitar, (2) last gift my brother gave to me, (3) jewelry from both grandma’s, (4) 1890’s Kiddush cup, and (5) a porcelain fiddle player.  I then went to the house and collected and secured the five items.  The guitar was put in a case and locked with my husband’s instruments. All of these objects represented positive memories of my loved ones.  I know if they got destroyed, a part of me would feel that memories were also damaged. 

All across America and the world, people face natural disasters.  Some like hurricanes, people, have amble time prepare.  Whereas, others like earthquakes happen with seconds to a few minutes warning.  I, therefore, ask people to create a list of objects to protect.  Depending on where you live and what type of natural disaster will determine the length of the list.  For instance, someone residing in California would have a list of one or two items.  Mental lists are great, but if you are the type of person who panics, written might be preferred.  People living in hurricane-prone areas could technically fill a suitcase as we have ample time to prepare. 

If anyone is interested in talking in person with me about protecting possession from deceased loved ones, I will be one of the speakers on the Journey of Hope and Bereavement Cruise.  The cruise embarks from Tampa, Florida in February 2018.  On the cruise, I will also be discussing lost roles, how to find people to fill them, future fears, and how to try to prepare mentally.

For more information on the cruise, please visit www.j3hhh.com.   

 

© Robyn Faust Gabe, Ph.D. 2017

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About the Author
Robyn Faust Gabe was born in East Meadow, New York. She was raised and schooled in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. Dr. Gabe graduated in 2000 from Florida Atlantic University with a Bachelors of Arts Degree in Political Science. After that, Dr. Gabe attended Florida International University and graduated in 2004 with her Masters of Public Administration. During her master’s program, Dr. Gabe interned with the assistant city manager for the City of North Bay Village where she learned how local cities manage records containing sensitive information. After her master’s program, Dr. Gabe worked at a local university in the financial aid office. In that position, she helped counsel students regarding the responsibility of loans and oversaw the student work study program. Then the unimaginable happened; her only sibling died. She lost her job, friends, and family members. The multiple losses within a two-year period triggered a downward spiral and created many interpersonal conflicts. In 2010, Dr. Gabe decided to take her pain combined with multiple losses to benefit other bereaved siblings. She enrolled at Nova Southeastern College of Arts, Humanities, and Social Sciences, Conflict Analysis, and Resolution doctoral program. There she studied sibling bereavement issues utilizing theoretical lenses associated with the conflict analysis and resolution field. In 2016, Dr. Gabe graduated with her Ph.D. She is currently the office manager of a personal injury law firm. She has spoken at bereavement meetings and was a speaker at a national grief conference.
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