Where does one go from here? We have all of these dates and holidays bulldozing down on us and we are running scared. How much more pain can we be expected to take? Our days are already filled with so much pain we wonder how we can still be standing, talking, walking etc. Now comes the first anniversary, second, third, fourth of our loss. Ahead or behind comes the firsts for birthdays, holidays. By all the Gods, what can we do?