Avoiding Trust

After feeling broken or lost after a Loss of a Loved one. You create walls of protection that guide you and keep others at a didtance. Is this safe? Probably not but you just feel like no one knows and if they pretend to they just treat you differently. I assure you we may look fragile but inside we are stronger but then there are days we are stronger inside than our appearance on the outside. So what happens then, we build another wall and it guards us to keep safe and not let our hearts feel. Because we loose our trust, so it's as if we say stay as far away as possible. It's not as we want to be, it's just what we create around ourselves and we feel protected and guarded. 

I don't recall feeling as such before my loss. I know I've survived many things but it's just like I need to travel with the shields to protect my heart avoid my hurt, tears and fears that set in. While we want to be free and breathe as we once did before, it's just so hard and it's best to Avoid Trusting to feel Safe. 

Ones pain and loss are all so different, while some struggle and others cope better. We are all human and may break easier as others but we trusted our children would be here forever, so when we lost them our Trust left our Hearts.