DURING GRIEF, WHY YOU SHOULD ...
During grief, you should ... you should ignore what other people have to say about YOUR grief. Period. In your heart, you know that you are not alone in grief; there are so many of us suffering from a very similar experience. The long-ago author of the so-called "Stages of Grief" was a theorist who proposed that grief follows a list. That's such BS! Recently I created this trope for my fb page: If only...there was a way, somehow, to turn back time for just a minute...to one of the best days of our life together when we were both happy and carefree and everything...our life, our love, our joy seemed boundless and full of sunshine with gentle breezes. A touch. A kiss. The feel of his arms around me. Even just to see him. ONE. MORE. TIME. Two of my online "besties" thought that would be terrible! Seeing their lost loved ones even one more time for a short time would be more than they could bear. Me? On the other hand, I feel like I would love to see Rob once more, even briefly. In real life as a vision or a ghost or an angel or a spirit. Whatever. Just as long as I could see him truly with my eyes and talk to him so that he was able to respond to my questions. If even just for a minute...it would be so reassuring that as soon as I reach Eternity, we will be there together. We are on a similar path of grief and for the same reason and for basically the same length of time yet our reactions are just so personal. Who, in their right mind, could truly delineate "Stages of Grief" that are true for all or even most of us? You are a beloved soul experiencing something hurtful. Grief is terrible any way you feel it. However you ARE feeling, is exactly what you should do. No one else can say what you should do or how you should feel or that you should be over it by now. Or ever. Do grief your own way. In your own time. In your own expression. If it lasts for the rest of your life on earth, amen. Make it so. Let it be. As for me, grief is like a roller coaster with roiling highs and unbelievably dropping lows. And it's all mine. And it's all just perfect.  |
