Endless Time

Seconds, Minutes, Hours, Days, Months and now 2 years just seem unreal. The thoughts, feelings and questions are still there. Once I recall a month after we lost you. I was told ok yyou've grieved enough. Where and How does one even measure the feelings and sense of being loss are measured. 

I know survival set in when the numbness took over and the  dazed and confused were indented into my routine, while survival was swinging in all directions.  

Clinging onto faith, asking and  wondering what's next.  Many nights i would wait for that sunrise just so I didn't have to close my eyes.

Then just as you touch a light switch, I realized where and what am I doing? Is this where life keeps me or do I want to be among the breathing and Live.

It's choices that we place in our Hearts that protect our mind but also give us a shield to protect us. Even when we try we have to come to a place in our hearts where we accept and know we will see them again. 

There is no manual to tell you step by step how you Grieve. Each and everyone is different and we all don't follow the stages of how to. When we see or feel a reason we step out of the fog and deal with our Emotions Full Force.  Giving us a different way to cope and reach out to help others.  

The heart will always have a void, but out mind and heart have lots of memories stored. We will look forward and step out and start reaching and feeling differently. But we know we have work left to do and can make a Difference. Even though our steps can be tiny,  they eventually make their way out into a Journey of serving and giving to others. 

A perfect example is: My grandmother's rose printed China bowls , fell and shattered. Leaving no way to be put back as it once was. But it's a timeless treasure that is forever in my Heart but, even though I can't put it back together... I still can go on... and so can each and every one of you..

Our Life and Journey are still incomplete, with lots of empty pages left blank. So Live , Breathe and Love and help make a Difference touch someone's life. 


About the Author

I am a Mother to 5 grown children , grandmother to 5. I am a Advocate for the American Foundation Suicide Prevention. In hopes of giving others HOPE and support during the most difficult time of their life.

Helping The Bereaved