A fleeting moment of clarity
It's an amazing, eye opening moment when you realize that the one thing you thought, no, you knew that you personally could never do, would never be able to live through, you can. You are doing it and it isn't going to kill you as you previously thought it would if God forbid it happened to you. It has happened and I stand here today bruised and weary but alive. I am thankful that I am going to see the sun rise again, feel love (and sorrow) and experience my life, the one I have been given by my creator, knowing that I can overcome anything, yes, anything that comes my way. I am not afraid of the unknown because honestly, isn't the unknown part of life's beauty? If not for sorrow and pain how else could I recognize my joy?
I used to believe that the worst thing that could ever happen to me was to lose a child. But now I realize the very worst thing would be for me to lose my faith, in God, in myself. I will get through this, I will be stronger for it and wiser. But most importantly, my heart still yearns for what is real and powerful and beautiful. All the things that make my own life's journey worth living. I love you Andy and words cannot describe the depth of how much I miss you, will always miss you... and this is yet another amazing life's lesson that you have taught me. Your life mattered, you made a difference and you brought such joy and love to so many, especially your mama, sleep sweet my son
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