A Holiday Grief Exercise - Have a Cry Party

The holiday season, as you once knew it, was a joyous time of celebration and family togetherness. When the pieces of the puzzle have been taken away, it might be challenging to find joy. It might be challenging to participate in the festivities of the season. Some have said they wish they could make November and December disappear from the calendar.

While you can't magically make the months disappear, I encourage you to not go into isolation and denial. These two emotions are counter-productive to your grief journey, and are more likely to keep you stuck instead of moving forward.

During this season, as you remember the joys of the holidays with your loved one, I want you to give yourself permission to cry. I am sure you have heard that tears cleanse the soul, and I believe that. Tears do not show weakness. I see them, in this regard, as a sign of strength... strength to let go. So, I ask you today to let go, let it out in order to allow and receive what is waiting for you.

One of the activities I use in my holiday coaching program is the cry party. I always get strange looks when I mention it, but it can be a powerful exercise to help you. No, life will not be the same as it was during previous holidays with your loved one; but, your new life going forward can be meaningful.

Plan your cry party, or in most cases, simply do it spontaneously. It is also a good response to one of those unpredictable grief bursts. Go to a quiet place away from others and distractions. Take with you a favorite item of your loved one (a special holiday ornament, article of clothing, book, a gift they gave you, a letter they wrote you, etc.). If you enjoy candles, light one. If you enjoy music, play a favorite song of yours, or of your loved one. What do you do next... CRY, CRY, CRY. Yes, have a cry party.

One client actually used this exercise with family members. All were holding in emotions of grief trying to be strong for each other. The cry party allowed each of them to release without the perceived need to be strong for each other.

Try a cry party today, or schedule one. After your celebration, journal your experience. What did you let go? How do you feel? What can you do to move forward to honor and remember your loved one?

This is one of the many activities that Dora Carpenter, author and certified grief coach, offers in her coaching programs. This year, she is offering her 21-Day Holiday Grief to Gratitude Challenge free of charge. Get details and register athttp://www.FromGriefToGratitude.com.