Just reach out and give a hug!

Yesterday I visited a friend who’s 34 year old son is dying of a brain tumor/cancer.  He is in his final chapter of life.  As she was describing everything happening and from him going one day to being fine and the next day could not speak or remember things….flashes of my dad’s final days of life lost to lung cancer flashed in front of me and I got numb……I looked at her and my other friend asked me, how does she do it?  We get in a maintenance mode and go thru the motions of taking care of what needs to be done minute by minute when someone is dying…..kind of robotically….not really feeling, just doing….I saw so much pain in her face and just hugged her…for that is all one can do at this time….the grieving comes later after our loved one is gone..…one month, two, ten or a lifetime…she showed us her horse, the farm, some of the other horses and explained all she had to do for him at night, feeding and grooming, and chickens ….lots of chickens….she was thru and asked us over to her new home to give us a tour…which we did…....it was awesome seeing her explaining and knowing that this was an escape for her before going back to her real, ugly, heartbreaking world later on.  You see, I had walked in her shoes like so many others have and knew..….we cried and hugged and drove home….my mind kept flashing back to my dad in his final days the rest of the evening and into the morning….it just creeps up on us to deal with….so…I went for a long walk this morning, talked to my dad and he yelled at me not to dwell but to live…easy to say sometimes and then my thoughts went to my friend……..and how I need to be support for her right now…….if you know anyone going thru a similar situation and do not know what to say….reach out…..and give them a hug….

 

About the Author
Bio for Eileen Donbeck Doyon The loss of family members early in my life has been extremely difficult, and most recently I lost my dad to lung cancer and was with him til the end. I have been trying to figure out how to deal with death due to it being so much a part of my life. Most people will deal with loss at some point in their lifetime. The past two years have been depressing, complicated, and dark. In receiving two treasures last year, my dad's dog tags, and my grandmother's chandelier, it meant so much to me, my attitude, and my outlook on my own life. I felt their presence and their love all around me. I knew that others in my situation had to feel the same way. If so, I wanted to help. So that became my mission....to help others talk about their loved ones who have passed and to tell their stories of their own personal keepsakes. Our military is very precious to me. We owe so much to our veterans that have served and protected our country. So this became my theme of my second book. People were so excited, emotional, happy, and sad all in one, but it was all good. We laughed and cried talking about memories and stories of loved ones. Sometimes, those feeling are buried deep down due to the crazy hectic lives we all live, and sometimes it just hurts too much to think or talk about. Everyone's comments were so supportive and positive. It really became a healing to all and made people feel good. So, in this hectic life, I have decided to run a series of books titled "Unforgettable Faces and Stories". We all need to stop and think about people in our lives, both past and present, and stories of those unforgettable magic moments. Eileen Doyon grew up in the small town of Fort Edward in upstate New York. She left there in 1978 and now lives in Portsmouth, New Hampshire. She enjoys gardening and traveling on her motorcycle visiting new places, familiar places, and meeting new friends. She is a member of Pease Greeters in Portsmouth. Eileen Doyon’s series is Unforgettable Faces and Stories. She has released five books, Dedications: Dads and Daughters/2013, Keepsakes; Treasures from the Heart/2013, Best Friends: Forever and Ever/2013, Pet Tales: Unconditional Love/2014 listed on Amazons Best Sellers list, and most recently, Letters To Heaven, also listed on Amazons Best Sellers list. Eileen Doyon’s series is Unforgettable Faces and Stories. She has released five books, Dedications: Dads and Daughters/2013, Keepsakes; Treasures from the Heart/2013, Best Friends: Forever and Ever/2013, Pet Tales: Unconditional Love/2014 listed on Amazons Best Sellers list, and most recently, Letters To Heaven, also listed on Amazons Best Sellers list. Please visit her website www.UnforgettableFacesandStories.com and join her FaceBook page Unforgettable Faces And Stories and follow her on Twitter @FacesandStories
I'm Grieving, Now What?