Yesterday I visited a friend who’s 34 year old son is dying of a brain tumor/cancer. He is in his final chapter of life. As she was describing everything happening and from him going one day to being fine and the next day could not speak or remember things….flashes of my dad’s final days of life lost to lung cancer flashed in front of me and I got numb……I looked at her and my other friend asked me, how does she do it? We get in a maintenance mode and go thru the motions of taking care of what needs to be done minute by minute when someone is dying…..kind of robotically….not really feeling, just doing….I saw so much pain in her face and just hugged her…for that is all one can do at this time….the grieving comes later after our loved one is gone..…one month, two, ten or a lifetime…she showed us her horse, the farm, some of the other horses and explained all she had to do for him at night, feeding and grooming, and chickens ….lots of chickens….she was thru and asked us over to her new home to give us a tour…which we did…....it was awesome seeing her explaining and knowing that this was an escape for her before going back to her real, ugly, heartbreaking world later on. You see, I had walked in her shoes like so many others have and knew..….we cried and hugged and drove home….my mind kept flashing back to my dad in his final days the rest of the evening and into the morning….it just creeps up on us to deal with….so…I went for a long walk this morning, talked to my dad and he yelled at me not to dwell but to live…easy to say sometimes and then my thoughts went to my friend……..and how I need to be support for her right now…….if you know anyone going thru a similar situation and do not know what to say….reach out…..and give them a hug….