On Mondays

I miss you most on Mondays. 

That was always our day.

We stayed home, just the two of us,

Slept late, then had breakfast together.

Either Pop-Tarts or Captain Crunch and coffee.

We always had our coffee in the morning,

And again for “coffee break” in the afternoon.

Yours with caramel creamer & mine just black.

Then you’d go to your room to listen to Tim McGraw

Or watch “Jurassic Park” or “Independence Day”

For the 100^th time.

They were your favorites.

I’d check my email & Facebook,

With one ear always listening for your call,

“Done, Mom!” when you needed a new CD or movie.

I miss hearing you singing along with Tim to your favorite song,

And the sound of your laughter at your favorite movie scene.

Sometimes on Monday, if it was a nice day,

We’d go down to see Grandpa Jim

Sit out in the shop with him & Grandma

Having coffee & Little Debbie snacks,

Listening to his stories that you loved so much.

I went to your grave for the first time yesterday.

It brought me to my knees.

Even though I know you’re not there,

The body that I gave birth to

And watched grow into a man, is.

It’s just so final, seeing your grave,

Realizing you’re really gone.

The tiny marker stuck in the dirt,

With just your name & the dates

Says nothing of the life that you lived

Or the person that you were.

But I realized that even the most beautiful headstone

Can’t display all you meant to me.

I can’t even find the right words

It’s a feeling in my heart,

A heart that is broken

And missing you so much,

Especially on Mondays.

Love, Mom

By Debbie Dovel

For Chad

4/28/14