Mother’s Day

I had spoken with some other mom’s who, like me, have lost their only biological child.  The conversation of Mother’s Day came up. I listened to how each of them felt about it and how incredibly overwhelming and sad this day is for us mom’s who have no biological living children to celebrate this day with. I tried to provide them with some positive ways to look at this fast approaching day. I hope this gives you some comfort as well.  Last year was my first Mother's Day without Brian. The weeks and days leading up to it I just dreaded. I cried, alot. As the day drew closer I allowed to let me heart feel whatever it was it was going to feel. I found as I did that the smiles of the thoughts of Brian began to come, overshadowing the tears.  he weekend of Mother's Day I embraced it. I am Brian’s mom. I was his mom from birth to age 17 when he lost his life in a car accident. I am just as much as mom as any other mom who has their living children so why shouldn't I celebrate it. I missed Brian that day just as much as any other day. My husband bought me flowers, like he did all the prior years. He made my day very special for me, like he did all the prior years. My parents sent my Mother’s Day gifts and my stepdaughter sent her Happy Mother’s Day text to me as she always had. Everything was the same as it always had been, except for me having Brian next to me. I took out my albums and remembered all the great Mother's Day I had with Brian. I read some of his old cards he gave me. I smiled through the tears. So much was taken away from us the day our children died but I needed to find a way to still find joy and peace on this day of celebrating mom's. Brian was the reason I even had this day to celebrate. Without him I would not be a mom. Brian is my greatest accomplishment, my greatest love, my best friend. How could I not find joy in the greatest gift I was given.  No matter what, I am still a mom. The only difference is my child lives in heaven.