People Have Said….

People have said…

You must be strong.

People have said,

You must carry on.

People have said,

“You are lucky you

 have two more.”

People have said,

“Why would it be hard

 To go to the store?”

People have said,

“When will this

be through?”

Oh how I wish,

You had the slightest clue!

People have said,

“Seek professional help.”

People have said,

“You must help yourself.”

Do you honestly think?

I haven’t thought of that path?

It’s not quite so easy

When you do the math.

People have said,

“I hate to see you sad.”

People have said,

“Is there a pill to be had?”

People have said,

“Try and snap out of it please.”

People have said

“Get up and move

And try to appease.”

People have said,

“He’s in a better place.”

People have said,

“It’s time to join the human race.”

People have said,

“He would not want you sad. “

People have said,

“Try to smile and be glad.”

People have said,

“Trust in God’s plan.”

People have said,

“Why are you mad?!”

All I can say,

“Is OH MY GOD!

Why can’t you

Be there for me

Give me a HUG

And hear me sob?!

Why does grief-

Scare you so?

I have suffered

Life’s biggest blow!

My child had DIED,

I am acutely aware

My heart is broken

And I feel  no repair.

I am not in denial

I am processing

And praying

I stay

non suicidal!

Do you honestly

Think

I can just get up

 And go?

I witnessed-

 Him die.

I pulled the –

PLUG!

I watched him-

POISONED!

And throw up -

BLOOD!

I watched him -

BURN!

And to turn to-

ASH.

I don’t have

MY CHILD!

I have an URN!

Thank you very much!

And yet YOU think

The cure

Is to speak-

To ME stern?

This was trauma

Plain simple

 And true.

I am just trying

To make

 It through.

I’d love if you’d hug me

Than offer advice.

Love if you’d listen

Even if you’ve heard

 It twice.

Thank you for calling

And inviting

Me out.

Thank you for listening

And hearing

 Me shout.

Love if you’d be

That one

To walk by my side.

Blessed for the ones

That certainly do try.

I am doing

The very best

That I can.

He died a child

And not

An old man.

Trying to breathe

Is a daunting task.

I just don’t feel comfortable,

Wearing a mask.

This is not natural

Nor shall it should be.

When will you get that

And try and see?

Grief is hard

And yes sometimes

I do seethe.

There is no magic wand;

Nor a snap of a

finger.

Yes I am afraid

That sadness does linger.

I know it is hard-

For you to

see.

That you care and

Wonder how can this be?

All these emotions

Just come and collide.

They all occurred

The day he died.

I just want a hug

And an ear

At the ready.

Just need a friend

Who is there and is steady.

To distract me,

To help me

See daylight one day.

Just a friend that won’t

 Get up and go away.

I wonder why

All the time

This has occurred

Then I have

 Moments of clarity

And I start to learn.

Life is precious

And not to be

Squandered away.

But grief has a hold

And has decided to stay.

It’s only been a few months

Can’t you see?

It will take time,

This journey

of mine

Nothing will fix

The deep hole

 in my heart.

That occurred the day

That he did part.

Don’t be shy;

Don’t move away;

Don’t be silent;

With nothing to say.

I know I have changed

It’s hard not to do.

I lost someone dear

A child I did bear.

I pray you never

Feel this despair.

Walk in my shoes

For a minute;

For an hour.

Try a day;

Try a week;

A month;

Try forever!!

And see if

You don’t get-

Over powered.

I will survive this

I know I will

With some love

And tender care.

Until that time

Yes I may just stare.

I might cry

I might shout

I might scream

I might pout.

I might laugh

Through the tears

I can’t say how long

It may take years.

How long

Would it take you,

if you lost your child?

Believe me the emotions

Are anything but mild.

Thank you for listening,

And letting me vent.

Now I am tired;

And suitably

spent.”