#10 I didn't care what anyone thought about how I grieved:
Grief made me go crazy for a while. I was selfish and self-centered. Thankfully, my family and friends supported me through and took care of my children until I came to my senses.
#9 I prayed:
I soon realized that I couldn't do it on my own. I needed God's help. (Sounds like a 12 step program!)In my prayers, I not only talked to God, but I learned how to listen to Him and heed His advice.
#8 I had to rethink my priorities:
Grief taught me what was most important in my life. God became my number one priority. I then treasured my family and relationships that I still had here. My two daughters were my main concern.
#7 Time doesn't heal all wounds:
It's not about time. There are people who are still living in grief 17 yrs. later. Unless you do the grief work, with God's help, you'll continue to grieve. God is our healer who helps to heal our wounds.
#6 My loved one was only part of my life, not my whole life:
Traveling to visit family and friends brought me my first moments of joy. Many I knew before I even knew my loved one. I realized there was a lot more to my life than just my married life.
#5 Joy and pain coexist:
As I found myself feeling more joyful, a special day would bring back the pain. A birthday, a holiday, an anniversary day, my daughters' dance recitals, my daughters' graduations. It's OK. The pain makes me remember the beautiful memories.
#4 God uses suffering for good to help us grow:
God has used me as a witness to bring others to Christ through my grief.
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." (Romans 8:28)
#3 Life is temporary here:
Some day, I will lose another loved one. I will grieve again. But I have faith that my eternal home will be in Heaven. It will be a permanent place to reunite with my loved ones that have gone before.
#2 God is in control:
I've surrendered my life over. God's in control of everything anyway. There's no "What ifs...?" My life and everyone else's life is in His hands. I trust He knows best. He'll always have the last word!
And the #1 lesson I've learned from grief is:
# 1 It's time to serve others and pass on the comfort that I received:
"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God." (2 Corinthians 1:3-4)