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Transforming Grief Into Love

Expert Author Kathy Wilson

Glenn Bob and I had been friends for over 30 years. We first met when I went to work at a lumber and building supply in Bellevue, Wa. His name wasn't really Glenn Bob. It was just Glenn. But the manager of our Contractor Sales Department added Bob to his name because he was a good ol' country boy from Iowa. Or Ohio. I could never remember which.

Anyway, all the guys who worked in that department ended up with Bob tacked onto their names. They proudly touted that they were all part of the "Bob" family. I was the first woman to work there and, of course, I got named Kathy Bob.

Glenn Bob and I kept in touch for years after I'd moved on from that job. We'd call each other and chat about the good ol' days, our lives now, and whatever else came up. When he called he never said "Hi" or "Hello", but always said in his country drawl, "Kathy Bob? That you?"

One day I noticed I'd missed a call and it was Glenn Bob's phone number. I settled in for a nice delightful chat and called him. His wife answered and told me that she had been the one to call me. Glenn Bob had died suddenly a week before and she was going through his phone, calling people in his contacts list and letting them know.

For a few minutes I could hardly breathe. I went into shock and could barely talk to her. Part of me was thinking about how awful she must be feeling while another part of me was just stunned beyond my ability to even talk.

It was a couple of months before I could even think about his death without crying. I didn't understand why I was being so affected by his death in particular. Other friends of mine have passed on and I wasn't affected so.

One day I was talking with a wise friend about my reaction and deep grief to Glenn Bob's death. I mused upon the fact that either we're coming from love or from fear, and since this didn't feel like love, it must be fear of some kind. But fear of what?

She didn't disappoint and instantly gave me the wisdom I was looking for. "Grief," she said, "is the fear of lack of love."

Makes perfect sense. When someone we love dies, we fear that the love we shared with them dies, too. But here's the truth:

Once energy is created it exists for eternity.

Love, like all emotions, is energy.

This means that when you lose someone or something you loved, the energy of that love still exists. And you can tap into it any time you want so you can enjoy it again. It's easy. All you have to do is remember an instance or event with that person or thing that created the feeling of love within you. And you'll feel it again in an instant, whenever you want.

And the best part is that you can never, ever lose a memory that creates the energy of love for you.

So if you feel yourself beginning to sink into the sadness of grief, remember that it's a signal to you that you're afraid you've lost love. Know that you can never lose love because it's eternal. And then recall a moment or an experience that brought you the feeling of love. As you do so, you'll feel that love energy once again.

Now every time I hear Glenn Bob's voice in my head saying "Kathy Bob? That you?" I giggle now instead of feeling sad. It reminds me of the good times, the happiness, and the love we shared with our friendship throughout all those years.

Kathy Wilson helps people create a better life for themselves using a multi-faceted approach. Your needs are unique, and the methods she uses are customized to your specific needs. As her client, you and she may use Life Purpose Coaching, spiritual mentoring and consulting, NLP, vibrational healing, PSYCH-K, Tarot, teaching... whatever is in your highest and best interests. She's a Certified Professional Coach, spiritual teacher, Reiki master, vibrational healer, author of An Inner Journey: Living Your Life Purpose, and has written and published many eBooks and articles. For information about her products, services, and classes, visit her website:

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