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As Bereaved Parents, we will always walk with a hole in our hearts. We would gladly give anything just to see our children one more time. We know this is not possible, until the day that we join them, but our hearts still want it. As a result, we all look for signs or messages that our children are still present. These signs are always surrounding us, if we are receptive and pay attention. Through my meditation practice and studies, I have come to believe that we are all always connected. I feel Kenny’s presence most strongly in nature.


I received notice that a dear friend only had hours to live. I prayed for him and prayed to Kenny to be there for him. Then, the sun started to set and the next day dawned. I sat and wrote TRANSITIONS just as my friend was taking his last breaths.






In honor of Sivadasa


The weather pattern this spring

Has been grey, cold and rainy

This is just a pattern

Something out of our control

Not at all personal

Yet, exactly what this corner of the world needed at this time

The natural flow

Allows beauty to unfold

We don’t have to do anything

Other than show up

Be present

And appreciate what is right in front of us

When we are patient

Patterns change

Transitions happen

Sometimes unnoticed.


The rain finally stopped

The air became still

The lake as smooth as glass

Reflecting the surrounding mountains

The trees are lush

With the new crisp green growth

Awakening from the dormant winter months

The sky still holds thick clouds

No longer full of rain

No blue to be seen

Just pure light

There is peace and calm surrounding me

A lone loon pops up right in front of me

As if to say Hello

I am still here

Reminding me how perfect this present moment is

He spreads his wings and shakes off the water

Then comfortably settles back down

Simply resting

Simply being

Absolutely perfect

Then he dives and disappears

To surface in another place.


Time ticks by

The day transitions to evening

As the sun approaches the mountains

It’s brilliant light radiates through the thick clouds

Letting me know it is still there

Even when my eye can not see it

It slowly drifts behind the mountains

The sky becomes a blaze of brilliant colors

Constantly changing

Being reflected on the water

Then slowly the colors sink behind the mountains

Following the sun

Gently allowing the darkness to fall around me.


A new day dawns

With soft grey light

The promise of sun is clear

Heavy mist floats on the water

It’s tops like many fingers touching the sky

It rises higher than the mountains

Connecting this physical world with all that is beyond

Slowly drifting toward the north

It eventually disappears

Leaving behind a glorious day

Full of sunshine

Natural beauty

Not a cloud in the sky

No wind

Clear, calm, peace

Absolutely perfect.


This gift of the ending of one day and the dawning of another was from my friend, Sivadasa, as he transitions to another world. His light will always shine brightly. His beauty will remain. He will always be here. His love will never fade.



Ann Lindner

Kenny’s loving mother


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About the Author

I was born in 1950 into a large family of my father’s. My father was my best friend and my rock. After graduation from college, I started out on the path of my adult life. Living the American Dream with a loving husband and a perfect child in a house built by us for our little family and future. In 2002 our world was shattered when our only son died while driving home from his Freshman year of college. My father died just before Christmas of that same year. As my husband and I drifted apart, so did our marriage, which ended in divorce. I found myself alone, trying to figure out who I was and discovering how to make my way in an uncharted world. Eventually I found my way. Now, I want to honor my son, Kenny, by being there to support other bereaved parents as they find themselves alone in an unfamiliar world.

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