What's Your Sign?

Lately, it seems as though every time I turn around I'm bombarded with some reference to signs.  Specifically, signs that we believe come from loved ones who have passed.

 The death of someone we love is a most profound, heart wrenching experience filled with complex emotions. The immediate pain makes the world around us dark and most often the thought that our lives will ever regain any semblance of normalcy is unfathomable.  How can the world go on when the grief is so intense?  There are countless questions and few answers.  We are left to find comfort within ourselves and our faith. 

But is death the end?  What happens when a loved one passes?  We are a curious bunch, humans.  Even in our darkest moments we still want to be reassured that there is something on the other side and that those who have passed are still connected to us in some way.  It is not uncommon to hear, I want to know he or she is OK.  I pray for some sort of sign.  I want to know if they are still around me.  It is incomprehensible to think there is nothing else so we look for anything that will give us some peace of mind.  

Many have experienced signs they believe, beyond a shadow of a doubt, to be from a loved one.  Their faith is unwavering.  Others want desperately to see or hear anything and yet nothing comes.  In their search for confirmation, some seek out gifted mediums in hopes that their loved one(s) will come through.  Sometimes a person will receive some snippet of clarity and that is enough to put his or her mind at ease.  Others search continuously to no avail and unfortunately some even fall prey to unscrupulous people who will take advantage of their vulnerability and desire to 'connect'.  Why are some lucky enough to have a positive experience and other's aren't and how do we know if something is a sign or just wishful thinking?

It is important to understand that like snowflakes, no two signs are alike.  The signs people receive are as unique as the people themselves and their relationship to the person(s) who have passed. For some it is the scent of specific perfume or the smell of a cigar or pipe.  It can be just opening a book or random magazine and immediately read words that seem to be the answer to an unspoken question.  My personal belief is that our loved ones are around us all the time and we just need to allow them to communicate with us in their way.

While writing in my journal one morning, I was seated on my favorite chair and ferociously scribbling away all the things that were on my mind.  At that point in my life, I was going through a difficult period and I could not see a reasonable solution to the issues.  My pen kept writing the same thing over and over.  What should I do? What should I do?  I was totally engrossed in my misery, when my brother's face popped into my mind.  I stopped for a second or two and then went right back to being obsessed with the question at hand.  What should I do?  As my pen flew across the page, something caught my eye and as I focused on this thing drifting down (I thought it was a fly) I watched it as it gently floated and settled on the page right at the tip of my fountain pen.  It was the tiniest, most perfect feather I think I had ever seen.  I immediately stopped writing and looked around.  Where did it come from?  I had no idea.  There wasn't a bird in sight.  My particular sign usually has something to do with feathers or Angels.  In my heart I knew it was my brother saying hello and letting me know that everything would be ok.  In the end it was.

Many people are uncomfortable discussing things like signs for fear that others will think they are crazy. Yet some things cannot be readily explained.  There are stories of electronic equipment turning on or off for no reason, jewelry that disappears only to be found in some unusual spot without explanation.  A friend was given his father’s ring.  He wore the ring every day and each evening when he removed it from his finger he put it in a jewelry tray on the dresser in his bedroom. Several times in the beginning he would go retrieve the ring in the morning only to find it missing. Convinced he had misplaced it he would search high and low.  It was when he gave up he would find it in unlikely places.  The first time it happened he convinced himself he had been careless.  After it happened a few more times, he decided to accept it as a sign. 

Recently, during a conversation with my sister-in-law, I asked her what she would most want to know.  Her reply:  "To know that he is still around me."  She was referring to my brother who at the age of 47 was stricken with terminal brain cancer and was gone from our lives before the year was out.  She was worried there would never be a sign or worse, that there would be and she would miss it.  While she is very skeptical, she knows I am an absolute believer.  She said "I wish I had your conviction. How would I even know?"  I told her to just ask.  Ask him for a sign, something that she would recognize.  She called me a few days later and relayed this story. 

"I was driving to work and I did what you told me to do.  I asked him if he was still around and if he was I wanted a sign.  My loneliness crushes me at times and I wanted to be reassured.  I asked to hear a U2 song. The radio was on for the entire drive and I was hoping for any U2 song to play.  But nothing.  By the time I pulled into my parking spot at work I was very disappointed even though I hadn’t really expected anything to happen.   I felt foolish and my eyes started to well up.  I was about to turn off the motor when I realized that the song playing, was not only a U2 song, but one that held a special meaning for us!  I couldn't believe it.  I sat in my car until it finished and cried.  I wanted terribly to believe it wasn't just chance and that he was letting me know he heard me and that he was OK.  When the song ended, I wiped my tears and slowly got out of my car still in a state of shock.  It was a cloudy morning but suddenly I felt the sun.  I looked up at the sky, and I know you're going to think I'm crazy, but I saw the sun peeking through two clouds and the space between them looked like a heart."

Then she asked me, "Do you think that was a sign?"

Yes. Yes and yes.

Are all signs like the ones here?  Only the person receiving a sign can know for sure.  What is meaningless to one person is very significant to another.  But what I do know is that if we stopped looking so hard, and just trust, the signs will come when we least expect them.