When We Lose Someone in Pieces

Grief is an individual adventure. No two people are the same. Every person, every relationship is unique. So is every loss.

Each death or loss comes with its own special challenges. Losing a person in pieces over time is no exception.

Relief as Part of Grief

“Thank goodness that’s over!” Ruth exclaimed. “I feel so relieved, but also empty.”

“I’ve been losing him for years with this disease. One piece at a time. One brain pathway at a time. It was awful,” she said.

Alzheimer’s, dementia, and other diseases are especially taxing. You lose your spouse or loved one a memory at a time. You can even feel like they died a long time ago, and all that’s left is a shell.

This kind of loss can come with a great amount of relief. They’re not suffering anymore. But it can also feel so hollow, so unsatisfying because of the lack of closure in many areas.

No meaningful two way conversations. No way to jointly say goodbye to one another. They are still themselves, but wait, no they’re not.

Like the diseases themselves, the grief that follows can be confusing and complicated. 

A grief affirmation:

“I lost him slowly and in pieces. No wonder my grief feels so fragmented.”

If disease was involved, perhaps you lost your loved one in stages – one piece at a time.

You grieve the same way. One day at a time.

Adapted from the bestselling Heartbroken: Healing from the Loss of a Spouse (USA Best Book Awards Finalist, National Indie Excellence Book Award Finalist). Watch the Heartbroken video here.