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Widow's Guilt...What if?

What if... I had called the doctor like he asked?

 "Cindy, can you call the doctor and see if he can get me in tomorrow morning before I leave for my business trip?" my husband asked. "I'm not feeling well. I'm starting to get a bad cold and cough. Maybe he can give me something before I get too sick."

I agreed I would call. It was February. We lived in sunny, warm, Florida at the time, however, his trip was to Pennsylvania and the weather would be very cold that time of year.

 I remembered to make my hair appt. for the following day. But, I felt terrible later that day when my husband asked if I had made the doctor's appt. Oh, no!! I had totally forgotten!!

So the next day, off to frigid PA he flew. His cold and cough got worse. He suffered for a week until he came home. I had suggested he see a doctor in PA, but he decided to wait. By the time he got back, he was very sick. He was allergic to some of the meds the doctor prescribed and he continued to get worse. By the beginning of April he was in the hospital with pnuemonia. He never pulled through and died on April 13th.

 What if I had called the doctor the day he asked me to? What if he got some meds before his trip? Would he have lived??

 Well if you believe what God says in the Bible, I don't think he would have lived a day longer. In Psalm 139:16 it states, "All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be."

 I have erased all guilt. I have let go because I had no control over what was meant to happen.  Are you able to erase yours?

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About the Author

I was widowed at 34 yrs. old with 2 daughters, 6 and 7 yrs. old. It took me a while as I stumbled through widowhood and then realized there was more to life than grief. Life eventually became just as joyful as before. I went back to school and obtained a master's degree in social work. My passion is now helping others through their grief by sharing my experiences. In 2012, I self-published my book, "A Widow's Pursuit" that is currently being sold on amazon.com

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