Answering the what if question

Tools for finding hope along the journey: Answering what if? 
What if…?, What if….?, What if….?
We can torment ourselves with this question. It is like watching a movie over and over and willing the end to change. If we had only been able to do SOMETHING then this wouldn’t have happened….and we could prevent anyone else we love from dying. Try replacing the what if questions with positive truths:


I was right where I was supposed to be.
I knew all I could know.
I was not in control.
I did everything right.
I did my best. 
I loved with all my heart.
And it happened anyway.
Artwork by Glen Lord
About the Artist

On June 14th, 1999 my son Noah Thomas Emory Lord age 4 and a half died following complications of a tonsillectomy. That first day it was impossible to imagine taking my next breath much less taking the first steps on what was going to be a continuous walk through grief. On this journey I have cried an ocean of tears, screamed myself hoarse and felt pain so intense that it seemed unbearable. There are no magic words or process that take will take away the pain of grief. Calendars and clocks have no place in the grieving processes, what we all need are a set of tools that we can pick up and decide how and when to use them to re-build our lives. It was this realization that inspired The Grief Toolbox. The Grief Toolbox is both a resource and community for those who grieve and those who work to help them. With a desire to help the bereaved I have been involved with the New Jersey, Massachusetts, and New Hampshire chapters of the Compassionate Friends, a national support group for bereaved parents. I have served on the National Board of Directors of the Compassionate Friends. I have a passion to serve the bereaved and a desire to help the people who work with them. If you are interested in joining The Grief Toolbox community or to have me present or run motivational workshops please contact me at [email protected]. Together we can bring hope to the bereaved.