There is no value in comparing griefs

Tools for finding hope along the journey: Don't compare griefs


It is said that at any time 90% of the world is grieving. They are grieving parents, children, siblings, spouses or other family and friends. It is easy to start to compare grief…which loss is worse, who should heal faster, and who has a right to hurt longer. The truth is no grief can be compared even when the relationship to the person is the same. Thereis nothing to gain by trying to compare griefs. The worse loss, for us, is the one that we are experiencing right now. Be gentle with yourself and others. —

Artwork by Tanya Lord
About the Artist

Tanya Lord was a special education teacher when Noah died. After his death she read The Institute of Medicine’s report To Err Is Human and realized that the errors responsible for her son’s death were not unique. This created a desire and determination to better understand and work towards improving health care. Currently she has completed a master’s degree in public health and a PhD in clinical and population health research and is completing a post-doctoral fellowship. Lord shares her personal and professional experiences in presentations and workshops for medical staff and students focusing on the importance of effective communication with patients before and after an error. She also is a co-founder of The Grief Toolbox (www.thegrieftoolbox.com), which offers tools to help those along the grief journey. Lord may be contacted at [email protected]