What can you say to someone in grief - We are here to hurt with you

Tools for finding hope along the journey: Helping others to say the right thing


People have a lot of advice for those who are grieving. Most of it is said out of love and a true desire to help. When all we want is our loved one back and no words are going to give us that. The best thing anyone can do for us is to recognize and share our hurt.

Artwork by Tanya Lord
About the Artist

Tanya Lord was a special education teacher when Noah died. After his death she read The Institute of Medicine’s report To Err Is Human and realized that the errors responsible for her son’s death were not unique. This created a desire and determination to better understand and work towards improving health care. Currently she has completed a master’s degree in public health and a PhD in clinical and population health research and is completing a post-doctoral fellowship. Lord shares her personal and professional experiences in presentations and workshops for medical staff and students focusing on the importance of effective communication with patients before and after an error. She also is a co-founder of The Grief Toolbox (www.thegrieftoolbox.com), which offers tools to help those along the grief journey. Lord may be contacted at [email protected]