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Why Is Life So Hard? Am I Doing It Wong?

I have written many articles with the intention of healing those whom read them. This article has that very intention as well. If anything written within this article challenges your Faith or Beliefs, please know that is never my intention. I am absolutely respectful of the Faith and Beliefs of others. 


i often wonder what it would be like to have not been hurt or cry

i often wonder where would I like to be and there's not a why,

it just is, and was and all turned out great

just celebrated our 14th year of what was faith

I knew someday I would be happy again

i just wasn't sure how or when

So here I am I've become known 

Viscious Cycle

Like a switch we are on and off,
Like a nightmare it doesn't stop.
I love you I hate you I'm so confused,
I feel neglected like I'm being used.
You yell you curse you treat me bad,
Scared, upset but mostly sad.
I keep my mouth shut but it's not enough,

My Past To Present

My past is behind me

i have nothing to hide

I made bad choices, I'm going to survive

made mistakes but I think it is how we learn

I live with a clean conscious and nothing to yearn

lived a lot and traveled and saw

no drama , negativity or abuse no more

I have had my share of all three

I am now happy and free

When You Feel Like SCREAMING

Ever feel like screaming? With all that’s happened to and around us, it’s hard to believe we aren’t screaming most of the time.

Perhaps we are – silently, in the deep recesses of our hearts.

Maybe it’s time we let a little of that pain out.


Betty went a little nuts – on purpose

Disquieting Muses At the Grocery Store

( This was written 14 days after my sister's murder )

Disquieting Muses at the Grocery Store

If I rest, if I think inward, I go mad—Sylvia Plath

Silence Makes You Sick, I Believe It Killed My Mother

Silence made my mother sick in fact I believe it killed my mother.

I am 11 years old.  I come home from church school and my fathers clothes are spread out all over the lawn.

The front door is wide open.  The Robins that usually greet me in the spring time have disappeared, even they know something is wrong.



When I grow up...
I want to be hooked on drugs..
I want to beat up my Father...
And act like a thug

I want to steal from my parents...
I want to steal from my friends...
Heck I'll take money from Grandma..
Who will care in the end?

One more minute

1 more minute.....



10 pills on the counter...
Bag with a needle sharp as a twill...
Some coke on a mirror...
A rolled up dollar bill...

Well this is it...
I promise today...
After I do it...
I'll throw it away

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