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Suicide

The Season Has Ended (The Dream)

The season has ended. Blossoms of purples and whites fill my sight. I pass through the fields of heather and look beyond the sea. A peacefulness settles in the misty dew surrounding my body and filling my senses. I am with someone. A beautiful feeling of pure and abundant love emanates sparkles of light that reach deep within my soul. It is my son. He reaches for my hand and helps me up.

The Blank Pages

The Blank Pages

 

 

The reality sets in as you stare out a frosted window pane. Drifting snow up to the roofs of the cars in the parking lot. It's December 2014 and all you can think of this night is suicide.

 

"He Didn't Say Goodbye"

11 years ago on Jan, 10, 2005 we buried My Father. He left behind my sister, my brother and Myself along with 13 grandchildren, 3 nephews and His only sister. He left all of us to bare the pain he couldn't. 

My Piles of Memories

Piles

Piles of things I need to do...

Piles of things I need to sort through,
Piles of things I'm collecting for his girls when they are older,
Piles of memories that make me smile and some that make me cry,
Piles of things to toss out of here sooner than never!
Piles with their importance to his lost life,

The Flowerbed

The overgrown flower bed taunts me.. I can hear my mother's disappointed voice. "Jennifer, that flowerbed is atrocious.. over grown.. it needs weeding." My mother loves this house.. She loves to garden.. There are flowerbeds all over the place, on every side of the property. Too much for even me to handle.

Can't let go

I often wonder if you miss me as much as I miss you.

God knows I think of you every second of every day.

I think of the special moments we shared.

Those were some of the happiest times of my life.

Healing Takes A Lifetime

Early on in my grief journey, I realized this was not going to be a "get over it quickly" type of thing.  I had a strong desire to read everything I could on grief, suicide, and the afterlife.  I came to realize quickly that this journey will not end until I take my last breath.  People have asked me how I stay strong and this is what I explain to them.

 

Finding Peace In A Spiritual Connection

As I travel this road of healing, I have come across many people who travel this same route.  Some appear to have an easier time navigating it than others.  We all wish there were a Rand McNally that could guide us, but it just isn't there.    Some have encountered road closures, potholes, detours, and at times U-turns.

Suicide Bereavement Different Than and Same as Other Grief

A recent blog post on Grief After Suicide argues (convincingly, I hope) that suicide bereavement is unique because suicide itself is a unique way to die.

Sheryl Sandberg Redefines Empathy in Eloquent Reflection on Grief

Sheryl Sandberg and Dave Goldberg
Sheryl Sandberg and Dave Goldberg

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