“Father’s Day – Conflict”

“Father’s Day – Conflict”

Here we are, another event that is about to occur that triggers emotions in men that have lost a child (or have lost a dad for that matter), Father’s Day.  Since I have lost two children during different times of the year, I have the pleasure of dealing with multiple event triggers throughout the year.  It seems like my wife and I are constantly thinking about birthdays, death days, Holidays, Father’s and Mother’s Day.

I was telling my wife that I was struggling with writing a topic about Father’s Day this year.  I was looking for something profound to write about, something that will strike a cord and be different from other Father’s Day topics.  My wife said, “Why, does it have to be “so powerful, speak from the heart and the truth about these types of days.””  Excellent point.  As our conversation went on, we started to discuss how for her, Mother’s Day is an internal conflict.  She wants to be recognized as a mother, but she also struggles with the fact she has no living children.

I thought about that for a while and I have to say this internal conflict occurs on most of these trigger days.  You do not want anyone to forget you are a father or that you have lost a child, but it’s also is a tough day.  Bittersweet from the standpoint that I am proud to be their daddy, but it’s hard not to be able to spend the day with them or get a phone call wishing you Happy Father’s Day.  I often get annoyed during these times because I rarely get a Father’s Day wish from my direct family, but I know others in the family are receiving them.  It’s like since my children are dead, I am no longer a Father.  That is the conflict, I know they don’t believe that, but sometimes I allow myself to think they do.  It goes back to the internal struggle of do we acknowledge the day or do  [...]