Grief Unspoken

Grief Unspoken

I was pretty once, really I was.

My hair twirled in locks and locks

My smile made all of you so happy

I could laugh and catch your eye

I could glance and get what I wanted

I could do just about anything I wanted

really I could

Once when I was 20 I thought life would last forever

he would always just be there,

I never thought about loss

really I didn’t

but on that day,

he was lifeless at the bottom of the pool,

he left me, he left all of us,  

my eyes became swollen

my throat dry,

my smile no longer,

my sky no longer big,

the sun no longer warming,

the winter months so much longer,

my eyes ached when open,

I close my eyes to rest,

maybe when I awake,

somehow it will all be different,

but for now,

nothing seems to make me feel better, nothing,

not even my dog.