Holidays Can Be the Most Trying- New Tradition idea!

Blurb from the book "Wake-Up Call" 

"HOLIDAYS CAN BE THE MOST TRYING"

  The holidays, certain occasions, and even special events can be a very difficult time for those who are grieving.

The holidays are a reminder of the people who should be at the holiday table, but are not. Their absence remains, even as the years pass. Of course, it does get easier; it is always a tough. It’s important to realize that you don’t have to do things the way you’ve always done them. It may be a good time to start some new traditions, this doesn’t mean you’re going to lose the old traditions; Address the “elephant in the room” by acknowledging your child or loved one and including him or her in your gathering by lighting a candle, making a toast in his or her honor, cooking their favorite dish or sharing favorite memories and funny stories about them. It may be difficult to start these conversations but it will benefit everyone around you and help each of you heal a little bit at a time. Remember to give “thanks” for what you had and what you still have… memories, love and feelings in our hearts can never be taken from us unless we allow it. 

I found myself the first few Christmas’s after losing my sweet Bryant looking for gifts for him when I was shopping for others. For a split second I would see something and think, “Bryant would love that.’’ I still have moments of heartfelt sadness during the holidays. Sometimes, the days leading up to Thanksgiving or Christmas or worse than the actual holiday itself because the planning seems to linger on, everywhere you look you see joy, family gatherings and parties but someone is missing so how can I have joy or a party? How do I enjoy Mother’s Day ever again when one of my children is gone? The anniversary of Bryant’s death is always a reflection day of what could’ve been different and what he would be today. Why did the accident happen? How did the accident happen? Why Bryant? What did I do to deserve losing my son? After all these years, it’s still not easy for me to relate what happened. My “new Normal life” is a fact that dealing with these days and occasions will be with me until the day I die. I didn’t want to be a member of this exclusive club of suffering mothers, who buried their child, but this is what I have to deal with, and I have realized I need to somehow find and live its purpose.

A wonderful new tradition is to cover the table with a plain table cloth, provide permanent markers for family members and guests to write:

1. What they’re “thankful” for on the table cloth

2. Write a favorite memory or message to your loved one, and  children can have fun by drawing pictures.

3. Write a message to you that may have been difficult to say without breaking down.

4. Write a poem or short feeling they are having this Holiday season.

Bring the tablecloth out at each holiday until it’s full and then start a new one! Over time and as the children grow they can see and always remember. This will also help your family members.

My goal for my book "Wake-Up Call" was not just to get my feelings down on paper and help me heal and learn to live in my new normal life but to also reach out to others with thoughts and idea each of us can relate to and share experience give gain peace. My book today is on sale through Grieftoolbox, AMAZON, Kindle, Barnes & Nobles and NOOK. I am a beliwver that in order to be blessed, you must first be a blessing. I hope you find peace in more chapters of "Wake-Up Call"- Cherie