I Choose God

  Someone recently said to me, “Yeah it’s easy once you don’t have to go through anything any longer.” Was that person ever wrong! When you lose someone that you have deeply loved—when you lose the only person that ever loved you unconditionally—that pain is always there.

It is there when I come home and my beloved Johnny is not there to say, “Hey, Baby,” when I walk through the door. It is there when I get up in the morning and he is not there to say, “Good morning, Baby.” It is there when I roll over at night and his side of the bed is empty. It is there on my birthday and holidays, when there’s no special card and gift waiting for me. It is there during the day when the phone rings and the caller ID does not speak his name. It is there when I have no one to share the day with.

It is always there. I just don’t choose it. I choose God. I choose healing. I receive what He has done for me. I wake up and choose God. I choose God with whom I can share my day, and I choose Him before I go to bed. When I feel the grief begin to creep in, I choose God!

I cry out to Him, “Abba, come and pull me out of this pit! Don’t let me stay here!” Within a moment, He reaches down and lifts me up once again, because I choose God! Choose who you will serve. You do have a choice. You can either choose God by turning to Him and believing what He says about Himself and you, or you can choose the enemy by wallowing in the misery that he created in your life! I choose God! He is the only thing that can make you prosper above all things!

From a psychological viewpoint, ignoring my grief would be considered repression. From a spiritual viewpoint, it is definitely progression, because my focus is on the only thing that can move me forward: God! After all, how much can one person grieve? I have cried an ocean of tears. At some point, you have to move forward.

The psychologist would say you have to feel it to release it, but God says, “Don’t look back; don’t look around; just look up. Keep your eyes on me, and you will win the race.” Life does go on and mine goes on with God.