I Wish They Knew

Six months has passed. 

I can hardly believe.

I would have figured, if it wasn't me

I should be smiling  

And Laughing  and be 

Over this plight. 

What a fool I would be,

until it happened to me.

Time doesn't make it easier, 

As the clock ticks on by. 

Every moment in time

Every sunset and Sunrise

Is the reminder of you. 

You are not here. 

Just a hole in my heart. 

If this wasn't me, 

would I want to feel my hurt

Would I want constant reminders?

Would I want to hear despair?

Would I want to provide constant support

To the friend who was hurting .

It's exhausting ... right?

Would I want to hold her hand

And offer a shoulder?

Would I text her each thursday?

Would I remember?

Would I be that friend, to reach out?

I wonder if I would be.

I know since it happened to me how those friends 

who do all those gestures

How important they are. 

How less alone I feel. 

I know since it happened

Who matters and who doesn't

I know that theres fear

I know there is discomfort.

I know since this happened.

People are frozen

They care so much 

And want us so badly not to hurt. 

I know since that happened, 

People don't know what to say. 

They are afraid of our tears. 

Afraid of making things worse. 

Afraid of bringing it up , 

In case we were good. 

They are afraid of starting a cycle again. 

This is the fear.... silly to me. 

I wish they knew... I never foreget. 

He's always in my thoughts. 

I wish they knew...

Their silence hurts most. 

I wish they knew...

Not talking about him 

Not saying his name

Not acknowledging his life...

I wish they knew, 

That adds to the pain..

I wish they knew, 

That this life we have now

We will only get through... 

we will only see daylight

If not for you our friend.