Loss of a Loved One (Being There)

When you care for someone you want to do your best to be there for them when they need you most. Loosing a loved one can be devastating, lives can unravel, and even every day living can be difficult. Grieving is a slow process of reconstruction. It is important that you understand grief is a healing process that takes time and patience.

The first thing you want to do is to make sure you are well rested, helping someone with their grief can zap the energy out of you and if your health is poor you will be of no use. Clear your schedule for the time you have planned so you will not be interrupted. Sending flowers or a card is nice, but nothing can replace your written words.Write about a favorite memory, shared moments, or a special quality that made them unique. Use the name of the person who has died as often as possible, it says that you have not forgotten this person and know how much they mean to those that loved them. Sometimes the words you write will be reread and can be of great comfort in this time of sorrow.

When attending the services make your plans on what you will wear and the location the day before. Go early so you will have no problem finding a place to park. If a guest book is available sign it, then find your seat. When you approach those in mourning a touch of your hand, eye contact or even a hug, can sometimes say more than words. If you must speak, sorry for your loss is appropriate.

After the services, make yourself available to offer help with the practical things such as preparing food, cleaning, running errands, or answering the door or phone. Now we come to the most important thing you can do and that is to listen. Be silent but attentive. You may hear details of the death repeatedly talked about just listen and understand. Allow them to go through all the pain and sorrow they are feeling. Its OK to cry it is a natural reaction.

Avoid saying things like "I know how you feel" or try to provide answers like "Just be happy they are not suffering", comments like "think of all the things you still have to be thankful for" instead show your compassion by ensuring them that they can speak freely and you won't judge or criticize them. And while it is good to get out and interact, never force it if they resist. The healing process may take a long while, a short visit or phone call to reassure them that you are still there for them can do wonders. By showing interest in this article I can see how precious your friendship can be to those you love. May God bless!

I am just a person that believes that love is a powerful force and is of great need in this time we live in. We are all born with the ability to possess this wonderful quality, very few stand up to the challenge. When I can be a part of sharing my knowledge to those who seek to find, my hope in love will never die.